Wednesday, February 29, 2012
disappointment in mankind
i am so disappointment in mankind . man has turn a blind eye to other and those around them with cell phone that seam to grow out of a person head even more so while they drive. the reason for my disgust is the fact that for a while now i have been with out a car so it has been ruff for me and my kids to get to the store or to doc appoints i have only been able to go once since my car broke down and with my nerve damage i should be seeing the doc more i have ask for ride and such but mostly i stick to asking for ride when i gotta shop or pay bills but like today i need to go to the bank to see if i could get a bank loan to get a car that is a 2 mile walk which just to walk there took me over a hour and half after i left bank i went to the store to get a few items i sat in the store for a few mins trying to gather my strength and let my legs rest and hope to stop the shaking. i walk home it took me nearly two hour to walk that same two mile as before and on my walk home i notices a few thing everyone was either had a cell phone growing out their head or they block their view with hand to their face as if they are afraid of seeing what going on around them and during my walk home i had to sit down on some stranger step to the front of the yard cause i could not walk no more my leg had given out and i just fell to the step. i sat there for at least 15 mins give or take cause i could not move my leg and what amazed me is not one person seam concern about what was happening to me and all i could think is how many time i pulled over no matter what and ask the person if they was alright or need a ride.. yes i know to some of you think i was stupid but how is helping someone who need some help i mean come on what happen to helping other as you what done to you .. all i know is i can not wait to get out of this cesspool of unwilling and selfish people and do not get me wrong i am sure my home state may not be perfect and i am remember it as i have from being a child but one thing i do know about Missouri and Oklahoma is if someone in trouble they stop to help no question ask. that the joy of a small town everyone know everyone but at least they treat you with respect and are always willing to help a person out. But here in Georgia forget about it and this is to be the bible state so called state of Christians.. please i seen the same so called Christians in church on Sunday but when Monday come right back to swearing and drinking or going out to the clubs on Friday and or Saturday.. Please just get over yourself i can not stand it here any more i have no family here and i got even fewer friends i truly can trust and that all on one hand. it make me sick how children treat their parents and how the parents do not discipline their children.. i am mean watch the new a child open fire in a busy school and killed 3 people and 2 are injured.. it break my heart that this child fell thou the cracks cause people do not care to ask their kids what going on with them .. my parents are not perfect but at least for the most part they took a active roll in my life and cause of that i did not do something stupid like the kids of the world do today.. we as parents have failed our children we allow them to watch to much tv and crap for that matter that they have no business watching they no more about how to kill something on a stupid game system then they do about our past history .. they wearing cloths that do not belong on a 10 or 14 year old i say that they got thong under wear for little girl am like are u fucking kidding me there no way in hell my 14 and 7 year old daughter are wearing thongs i do not care if they are worried about panty line that should not be a issue.. then boys wearing their pants so low u see their so called boxer i am like pull ur pants up i dont wanna see that on a adult let alone a child .. i am a single mom of 15 yrs, 14& 14 yrs, 9 , and 7&7 yrs old the kids that live with me have respect for me as i do for them there is no video game system in this house no tv allowed during the school week heck we have a room that hold all the kids toys called a play room so the only thing in their room is their beds and cloths/dresser. they know as soon as they get home from school homework has to be done and no one can play till everyone is done weekend and no school days (Friday - Sunday day, Sunday night is a school night) and the tv in the play room only allow approved channels like channel 3(PBS) , 16 (which is nick and if the show is over a tv rating it is blocked) then 22 and 23 (which is Disney and Disney xd ) that it nothing else . there is only on computer in the house and it in my room if the kids need to do something on the computer i am right there with them watching what they do and i wont allow them to have a facebook they are to young in opinion .. i do not care what people think about how i raise my children i know they are happy and healthy and are for the most part A and B students.. i truly think more parents need to be like i am and not allow their children to over run them stop letting them stay on the video games and make them get up and do chores around the house and use their imagination to play and i can say that the children will become better student and individuals in the long run and oh for pete sake take the cell phone away no child need a freaking IPhone let the children be children and not freaking minni adult . well i am done ranting for today hope everyone has a great day and to all who read this thanks you for all your support ...
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
peeking thou closed eyes
laying here in bed this morning sounds of the alarms "blaring beep beep". ugh rolled over hit the snooze button peek thou closed eyes and spot what i was dreading to see. yup i see u there demon my purverable monkey in my back. i growl "damn you go away!". as always it just look at me with that look of mockery. my head is pounding like something is trying to rip it way out of my skull. a blinding pain right behind my eye. screaming ring out oh wait a minute that was in my head i was screaming in my head it seam i do that a lot lately. I hear the sounds of the children who i love more then anything moving around in their room getting ready for the day. I am still in bed i roll over to climb out of my huge bed over my many pillows that hides me in the night. my dog start to growl for my demon seam to be to close to him. i wonder why is it my dog can see this demon that follow me but no one else see it. is it cause they are lost in their own world to see what truly going on around them.
oh well the day has began i must get my butt up and moving i make my pot of coffee thinking to my self ugh same thing everyday same routine day in and out one day . just once i like to go get my craved frozen cappuccino from star bucks mmm i think to myself as my kids start asking me "Mom can i wear this?" . as i start to reply to them i hear the demon laugh under my breath so the kids didn't hear me "shut up damn you" which make the demon laugh even more. with that i roll my eyes grabbing the right side of my head as the pain blinds me again. i stumble back to my room and telling the kids to "hurry up don't wanna be late now". i reach for my pack of smoke and walk outside to the porch with coffee in hand. i sit down on the swing lighting a smoke taken a deep drag and then exhale the left over smoke my lungs didn't take in. i sigh a "ahhh!" sigh of satisfaction as that first drag hit my system nothing beats that first drag of a cigarette. i hear the demon laugh "you know that going to kill you!" i turn to look at the demon as i take a slip of my hot coffee and reply back "screw u they say everything going to either kill u or give u cancer and i had cancer twice and i am still here. so just shut the hell up!" demon just laugh harder at me seam every time i talk back to anything demon said funnier demon think thing is and more clear you can see the demon.
Well the bus came and got the kids and i am here left alone well not alone demon here. i roll my eyes at that thought and demon say "yup i am still here you can't get rid of me!". i spun around "don't count on that i will get rid of you and i will have the last laugh!" . just as i had said the demon started rolling on the floor laughing with tear in demons say u crack me up!" i just storm in to the house slamming the door to the sound of demons laughter. thinking well great here another day as i get ready for the day.......
copy write-2012-AHSWS-B-SAW-company-2012
oh well the day has began i must get my butt up and moving i make my pot of coffee thinking to my self ugh same thing everyday same routine day in and out one day . just once i like to go get my craved frozen cappuccino from star bucks mmm i think to myself as my kids start asking me "Mom can i wear this?" . as i start to reply to them i hear the demon laugh under my breath so the kids didn't hear me "shut up damn you" which make the demon laugh even more. with that i roll my eyes grabbing the right side of my head as the pain blinds me again. i stumble back to my room and telling the kids to "hurry up don't wanna be late now". i reach for my pack of smoke and walk outside to the porch with coffee in hand. i sit down on the swing lighting a smoke taken a deep drag and then exhale the left over smoke my lungs didn't take in. i sigh a "ahhh!" sigh of satisfaction as that first drag hit my system nothing beats that first drag of a cigarette. i hear the demon laugh "you know that going to kill you!" i turn to look at the demon as i take a slip of my hot coffee and reply back "screw u they say everything going to either kill u or give u cancer and i had cancer twice and i am still here. so just shut the hell up!" demon just laugh harder at me seam every time i talk back to anything demon said funnier demon think thing is and more clear you can see the demon.
Well the bus came and got the kids and i am here left alone well not alone demon here. i roll my eyes at that thought and demon say "yup i am still here you can't get rid of me!". i spun around "don't count on that i will get rid of you and i will have the last laugh!" . just as i had said the demon started rolling on the floor laughing with tear in demons say u crack me up!" i just storm in to the house slamming the door to the sound of demons laughter. thinking well great here another day as i get ready for the day.......
copy write-2012-AHSWS-B-SAW-company-2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
I have demons that chase me
i have demons that chase me
and no matter what i do they follow me so i take each day as i can some
are better then others and days like today it not so grand.. we all have
some kinda of demons or the
purverable monkey on our backs. some choice not to see or unaware, other
see them but choice to not care. then their are those that knows and
choice to fight them and then there are those who are like me spend half
the time running from such said monkey on the back or demons and the
other half fighting them .but in the end it doesn't matter. whether u do
not care or didn't know, fought or ran it is all destine before our
time to loose in the end. that is why there so much self destruction of
oneself and of another cause in reality of it all .we the human are the
monkey on the back, the demons of society to earth !we rape and plunder,
steal and distort thou out history.since the began of time.. call me
mad, call me crazy if you will does not bother me. for maybe i am just a
little mad and just a tad bit crazy, but till you walk a mile in my
worn out shoes do not judge me (am not talking about u Luna or any of my
friends)! for it is bad enough the life i have lived and suffer thou
that at time. this is a living hell i walk and when i finally reach the
end of this hell of a hwy on life at least i can say i stood up for my
convection of who and what i am and not a coward of a
human.....................
it monday again joy of all joys lol
well it Monday again seems the day fly by to fast and yet at times not fast enough. Sorry i didn't write yesterday my rotti the silly puppy had got his chain wrapped around my knees and knocked me over causing my left knee cap flip over and land in the wrong spot on my leg. Hurt like hell i won't lie i cried like a baby but oh well it over with my left knee swollen but i should be okay i have had that happen before on my knee only it was the right one. Any who i wonder does anyone read this or am i talking to myself sorta speak. well i guess if you guys are reading this then cool if not oh well it not i am doing this for anyone person just doing it for myself.
Well last night i watch movies after the kids went to bed watch 127 hour and let me say this wow it was weird but very good almost in the line of the Blair Witch project but way better and all i can say is i don't think i could cut my hand off like he did. but then again you never know what you do if you was in that kinda problem. then i watch Ghost Rider 2 and i have to say that was epic I love the graphic in it and the main person in the movie Johnny Blaze( Nicolas Cage did a wonderful job of acting like a man gone crazy with a cruses lol
I love watching movies it like a escape from reality expelly romance films kinda like reading a book which i love to read to at this moment between my nook and my own personal own library. Which come to on my nook i own 239 book and hard copy of books and that in it self is over 300 books. Can't you see how much i love to read. I so wish i had all my books i own hard copy on my nook it would be so cool to have them there too. Now don't get me wrong i still go to the public library to check out book. To hold a book that has most likely have travel to unknown place held by who know who is exciting. For all you know Lady GAGA held that very same book your holding right now. I mean really think about it plus to hold a book help you stay in touch with reality of life. Cause there use to be a time when you could own a book unless you was rich and or a man. And if you was of a different color or races you was not allowed to have or own a book. To me i think that stupid EVERYONE IS EQUAL and there for should always be able to own or read or have a book. I DO NOT CARE what color you are or where you from or if you have money or not went to college or even school or if your a man or a women or both. To me everyone is EQUAL in my eyes. I am no better then anyone I am just me something am good at and a lot that i am not. I will never claim to be perfect I am far from it. I stumble and fall i just get myself up and do the best i can and i teach my kids the same thing.
GRRR sometime people who act stupid make me mad but at the same time i just pray they will see the light that what they feel might just be wrong. I can not change the whole world but i can help make it a better place by teaching my kids to not be a bully,or a racist, or ignorant person they are to love all for who that person is on the inside not the outside!! This is where the Christians and I totally disagree I believe you can not help who you fall in love with whether its man and man, women and women, or man and women.. I can not say how or why we have gays but to me they are just the same as I am. Not better or worse then me they are people too and they love and hurt so for all those who say that if your gay your going to hell need to learn to grow up. Ugh i swear people that like to bash other people just plain make me mad but now do not get me wrong I don't like the way people treat other but I will not go out and say bad and hurtful things about them.. and if you feel that I am doing just that NO i am not just saying how i feel. I don't go out and kill or beat someone one up for what they say i just do not agree with them..
Well enough of that do not wanna be upset.. Well this is going to suck it raining outside and i have to walk or try to walk to the store. YUCKY!! I love the rain but not when it cold and i gotta walk in it lol i have a hard enough time trying to walk with my crutches add water it nearly impossible. May be if i wait a little bit more it will stop just long enough for me to try to get there and back :( who knows lol my kids said i need one of those rascal battery chairs I laugh and ask them are you saying am to old and bless my son he like no mom i just think it would make it easier for you to get around lol.. well at time like today i think he right lol
oh well i better go i need to grab a shower and get ready for the day .. here to hoping you all if someone or anyone reads this that you all have a good Monday and be thankful Monday only comes around one time a week lol i am out of here and talk to you on the flip side of the pillow :)
Well last night i watch movies after the kids went to bed watch 127 hour and let me say this wow it was weird but very good almost in the line of the Blair Witch project but way better and all i can say is i don't think i could cut my hand off like he did. but then again you never know what you do if you was in that kinda problem. then i watch Ghost Rider 2 and i have to say that was epic I love the graphic in it and the main person in the movie Johnny Blaze( Nicolas Cage did a wonderful job of acting like a man gone crazy with a cruses lol
I love watching movies it like a escape from reality expelly romance films kinda like reading a book which i love to read to at this moment between my nook and my own personal own library. Which come to on my nook i own 239 book and hard copy of books and that in it self is over 300 books. Can't you see how much i love to read. I so wish i had all my books i own hard copy on my nook it would be so cool to have them there too. Now don't get me wrong i still go to the public library to check out book. To hold a book that has most likely have travel to unknown place held by who know who is exciting. For all you know Lady GAGA held that very same book your holding right now. I mean really think about it plus to hold a book help you stay in touch with reality of life. Cause there use to be a time when you could own a book unless you was rich and or a man. And if you was of a different color or races you was not allowed to have or own a book. To me i think that stupid EVERYONE IS EQUAL and there for should always be able to own or read or have a book. I DO NOT CARE what color you are or where you from or if you have money or not went to college or even school or if your a man or a women or both. To me everyone is EQUAL in my eyes. I am no better then anyone I am just me something am good at and a lot that i am not. I will never claim to be perfect I am far from it. I stumble and fall i just get myself up and do the best i can and i teach my kids the same thing.
GRRR sometime people who act stupid make me mad but at the same time i just pray they will see the light that what they feel might just be wrong. I can not change the whole world but i can help make it a better place by teaching my kids to not be a bully,or a racist, or ignorant person they are to love all for who that person is on the inside not the outside!! This is where the Christians and I totally disagree I believe you can not help who you fall in love with whether its man and man, women and women, or man and women.. I can not say how or why we have gays but to me they are just the same as I am. Not better or worse then me they are people too and they love and hurt so for all those who say that if your gay your going to hell need to learn to grow up. Ugh i swear people that like to bash other people just plain make me mad but now do not get me wrong I don't like the way people treat other but I will not go out and say bad and hurtful things about them.. and if you feel that I am doing just that NO i am not just saying how i feel. I don't go out and kill or beat someone one up for what they say i just do not agree with them..
Well enough of that do not wanna be upset.. Well this is going to suck it raining outside and i have to walk or try to walk to the store. YUCKY!! I love the rain but not when it cold and i gotta walk in it lol i have a hard enough time trying to walk with my crutches add water it nearly impossible. May be if i wait a little bit more it will stop just long enough for me to try to get there and back :( who knows lol my kids said i need one of those rascal battery chairs I laugh and ask them are you saying am to old and bless my son he like no mom i just think it would make it easier for you to get around lol.. well at time like today i think he right lol
oh well i better go i need to grab a shower and get ready for the day .. here to hoping you all if someone or anyone reads this that you all have a good Monday and be thankful Monday only comes around one time a week lol i am out of here and talk to you on the flip side of the pillow :)
Saturday, February 25, 2012
LOVER EMBRACES
Lay here awake
Thoughts of you run thou my head
The slide of your caresses on my skin
The heat of your breath on my neck
Fire of flames where your tongue touches me
Flames of desire lick my very soul
Memory of your body pressed to mine in a lover embraces
Whispers of sweet love words said to one another
Hearts that beat as two becomes one beat
Candles flames flicker thou the late midnight sky
Breezes of Passion float thou the winter night
Soft sigh of delight exited swollen lips of Passion
Wait this Is just a distanced sustainable memory
You are the past I wish had not let gone away but at last
Your forever in my memory
You hold my heart till the end of my heart beat
Love you forever can not compare to what is in my heart
My dream lover till we meet again
And hold me in your warm safe embraces.....
Copy write-2012-ahsws-B-SAW-Company-2012
Thoughts of you run thou my head
The slide of your caresses on my skin
The heat of your breath on my neck
Fire of flames where your tongue touches me
Flames of desire lick my very soul
Memory of your body pressed to mine in a lover embraces
Whispers of sweet love words said to one another
Hearts that beat as two becomes one beat
Candles flames flicker thou the late midnight sky
Breezes of Passion float thou the winter night
Soft sigh of delight exited swollen lips of Passion
Wait this Is just a distanced sustainable memory
You are the past I wish had not let gone away but at last
Your forever in my memory
You hold my heart till the end of my heart beat
Love you forever can not compare to what is in my heart
My dream lover till we meet again
And hold me in your warm safe embraces.....
Copy write-2012-ahsws-B-SAW-Company-2012
just one of those day
oh my goodness of all that is HOLY I swear I am having one of those day.. First it starts off yesterday by having a Tornado come thou town! HELLO I live on the coast normally this thing just don't happen the worst i seen happen is a micro burst or a simple heavy wind storm but a tornado in a bowl of a town oh well. It happen and all I can say was no one was ready for it even I wasn't ready and I use to live in Tornado Alley. the wind was so strong it blow my door open and knocking the door in to me knocking me down. So i end up hurting my back the storm knock out the power for almost 4 hour.. That in it self was oh so much fun with kids home who are afraid of the dark .. Well the power came back on so the kids got settle down and watch T.V. I spent the night between hurting and not able to sleep to dealing with my oldest son not be able to sleep keep thinking the tornado would come back finally at almost 5 am i was then woke up back at 7 am to the dogs whining wanting to go outside and to my Rotti getting out the yard twice and the pharmacy messing up my son night med again for the second time (first was not delivering it with the other kids medication last nigh) so the pharmacy going to fix it and send it back out to me..
So here I sit writing to you guys and thou i doubt any one read this I still figure I till write. I did write a new poem last night when i couldn't sleep it called Lover Embraces .. I will post it in a few minutes hope you guys like it well i best be going the kids are calling me talk to u guys later :)
So here I sit writing to you guys and thou i doubt any one read this I still figure I till write. I did write a new poem last night when i couldn't sleep it called Lover Embraces .. I will post it in a few minutes hope you guys like it well i best be going the kids are calling me talk to u guys later :)
Friday, February 24, 2012
happy friday .. a little more about me
well this is the second day of this blog and already I have post several of my poems on here and well we just go from there lol
Well I guess I should give a little back ground on who I am
Well I am me that who I am lol.. No really to sum me up in mere words is not easy I am in it self some time a walking contradiction. one min i am up and the next I am down. I love passionately with all my heart even if it mean it get broken and yet even tho I try not. I try to put up a huge front that nothing bother me it does. I cry at the sadness in the world for the hurt of children and mankind. Yet at the same time I can not understand why people are so stupid me even included. But that is me in it self a walking Contradiction so either you love me or hate me. I have come to the point in my life I feel I do not wake up in the morning to please anyone. I do my best for my children and that all I can do. If someone need my help I will do what ever I can to help even if you done me wrong. I believe that you do on to other as you would have them do to you. You know the Golden Rule .
Now do not take me wrong I am not perfect by no means I smoke cigarettes, drink maybe a little to much soda and Slims Jim's are one of my weakness. But other then that I am just me I never claim to be a model type just the girl next door. I love to get my hand dirty whether it is fixing what i can on my car or cooking in the Kitchen. I am a MOM first and forth most they are my whole world and right behind it writing my poems. Even as I sit here writing on here dozen or more ideas are already running thou my brain, stories and poems. Things i gotta do today but yet I am here trying to slow my brain to be able to write to you. So as I said before I am a mom but I am a single Mom. I love being a Mom to my children I got 5 of them two 14 yrs,9 yr old and double twins age 7. So you see my hands are full but would not trade it for the world. I also have a year old rotti puppy he just like a baby to me. I live here in Georgia for the moment and soon as I can I like to move back home to Missouri or Oklahoma. Why do you ask would I like to move back well for One my father side of the family there and Two where I am at now I am without family support. It is just me and my kids so it is very lonely and at time I feel as i will die. Like right now my babies are in school and I am alone in the house T.V one Fresh Princes of Bel-air is on in the background a rerun. The wind is blowing outside gettin ready to storm and I am alone. It drive me crazy at time to be sitting here alone. We as human are a social creature in nature and to be isolated like I am is almost to the point of madness hence where some of my writing comes from but enough of that for now.
Well what else can I say besides I am 33 years old normally have natural red hair but like right now it is a blueish color lol. I have freckles and greenish eyes I am 5'7 and of normal build. I do have sever nerve damage in my back and legs so at time it is hard to walk but I do try to do it anyways for my kids sake.. As you can tell I love to write and read poems E.A. Poe is one of my favorite poets. I also love to draw, paint and work with clay. I can cook just about anything and I can work on my own car to a point (main engine work I leave to the professional not me )and fix thing in my house when I can. I am a Southern girl I believe in saying grace before you eat and saying Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir to show signs of respect for other no matter what color or sex or religion. To me a person is a person and we all deserve respect for who we are and not what we have or where we come from but by the action of our self worth of being a good person, I teach my kids that money does not always solve everything and there at time we are far richer then a rich person for we have something far more important in this world then Gold OR Silver and that is Love for one another. My children know they are no better then anyone nor are they to say they are for they have faults just like everyone else and they are to treat everyone with the same respect and honor and love that they themselves would like to be given towards them. Yes they know it does not always work that way with all people in the return part but I still have encourage them to stick to their guns about how we are to teach one another.
My boys seam to have it hard for my 9 year old have a rare disease called Glaucoma, his left eye is completely dead and he has little vision in the right but yet he is so happy go luck and think the world is a wonderful place. His heart is so kind he always rooting for the underdog and caring how people feel and if he fine out your sick or in pain he goes out of his way to make you feel better. I can see him being a doctor of some sort. then there is my youngest son but the oldest of the twins he has Autism a rare form where he has Aspergers and Server Autism too but he don't let that get him down he see the world thou the eyes of music lol. To him the world is all about music everything has a note or song and let just say music does sooth the savage beast or in this case a upset child. For us to calm him down I play his favorite song and here where I am dating myself on how old I am lol but we play Mr Roboto By the Styx. So as you see I got my hands full but we are like any normal family we laugh, we cry and we love each other.
Well I been at this for almost over a hour and my back starting to hurt I will write more later if you have any question or want to know something feel free to ask me of course this is if anyone read this lol well till next time guys remember this ...
Love hard love always if your heart get broken it not the end of the world. Just pick up the pieces and start all over again. For a world without love is a world without air. You just can not live without it ...And know this thou some of my poems or stories seams dark and have a underling of death and giving up it just words that flow thou me in a depths of even I can not explain. I write to write it help to get out what I am feeling and if what I write helps someone by say Hey that how I feel.. Then it warms my heart......
So I Bid you all ADO for now and always keep writing you never know who you might help :)
Well I guess I should give a little back ground on who I am
Well I am me that who I am lol.. No really to sum me up in mere words is not easy I am in it self some time a walking contradiction. one min i am up and the next I am down. I love passionately with all my heart even if it mean it get broken and yet even tho I try not. I try to put up a huge front that nothing bother me it does. I cry at the sadness in the world for the hurt of children and mankind. Yet at the same time I can not understand why people are so stupid me even included. But that is me in it self a walking Contradiction so either you love me or hate me. I have come to the point in my life I feel I do not wake up in the morning to please anyone. I do my best for my children and that all I can do. If someone need my help I will do what ever I can to help even if you done me wrong. I believe that you do on to other as you would have them do to you. You know the Golden Rule .
Now do not take me wrong I am not perfect by no means I smoke cigarettes, drink maybe a little to much soda and Slims Jim's are one of my weakness. But other then that I am just me I never claim to be a model type just the girl next door. I love to get my hand dirty whether it is fixing what i can on my car or cooking in the Kitchen. I am a MOM first and forth most they are my whole world and right behind it writing my poems. Even as I sit here writing on here dozen or more ideas are already running thou my brain, stories and poems. Things i gotta do today but yet I am here trying to slow my brain to be able to write to you. So as I said before I am a mom but I am a single Mom. I love being a Mom to my children I got 5 of them two 14 yrs,9 yr old and double twins age 7. So you see my hands are full but would not trade it for the world. I also have a year old rotti puppy he just like a baby to me. I live here in Georgia for the moment and soon as I can I like to move back home to Missouri or Oklahoma. Why do you ask would I like to move back well for One my father side of the family there and Two where I am at now I am without family support. It is just me and my kids so it is very lonely and at time I feel as i will die. Like right now my babies are in school and I am alone in the house T.V one Fresh Princes of Bel-air is on in the background a rerun. The wind is blowing outside gettin ready to storm and I am alone. It drive me crazy at time to be sitting here alone. We as human are a social creature in nature and to be isolated like I am is almost to the point of madness hence where some of my writing comes from but enough of that for now.
Well what else can I say besides I am 33 years old normally have natural red hair but like right now it is a blueish color lol. I have freckles and greenish eyes I am 5'7 and of normal build. I do have sever nerve damage in my back and legs so at time it is hard to walk but I do try to do it anyways for my kids sake.. As you can tell I love to write and read poems E.A. Poe is one of my favorite poets. I also love to draw, paint and work with clay. I can cook just about anything and I can work on my own car to a point (main engine work I leave to the professional not me )and fix thing in my house when I can. I am a Southern girl I believe in saying grace before you eat and saying Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir to show signs of respect for other no matter what color or sex or religion. To me a person is a person and we all deserve respect for who we are and not what we have or where we come from but by the action of our self worth of being a good person, I teach my kids that money does not always solve everything and there at time we are far richer then a rich person for we have something far more important in this world then Gold OR Silver and that is Love for one another. My children know they are no better then anyone nor are they to say they are for they have faults just like everyone else and they are to treat everyone with the same respect and honor and love that they themselves would like to be given towards them. Yes they know it does not always work that way with all people in the return part but I still have encourage them to stick to their guns about how we are to teach one another.
My boys seam to have it hard for my 9 year old have a rare disease called Glaucoma, his left eye is completely dead and he has little vision in the right but yet he is so happy go luck and think the world is a wonderful place. His heart is so kind he always rooting for the underdog and caring how people feel and if he fine out your sick or in pain he goes out of his way to make you feel better. I can see him being a doctor of some sort. then there is my youngest son but the oldest of the twins he has Autism a rare form where he has Aspergers and Server Autism too but he don't let that get him down he see the world thou the eyes of music lol. To him the world is all about music everything has a note or song and let just say music does sooth the savage beast or in this case a upset child. For us to calm him down I play his favorite song and here where I am dating myself on how old I am lol but we play Mr Roboto By the Styx. So as you see I got my hands full but we are like any normal family we laugh, we cry and we love each other.
Well I been at this for almost over a hour and my back starting to hurt I will write more later if you have any question or want to know something feel free to ask me of course this is if anyone read this lol well till next time guys remember this ...
Love hard love always if your heart get broken it not the end of the world. Just pick up the pieces and start all over again. For a world without love is a world without air. You just can not live without it ...And know this thou some of my poems or stories seams dark and have a underling of death and giving up it just words that flow thou me in a depths of even I can not explain. I write to write it help to get out what I am feeling and if what I write helps someone by say Hey that how I feel.. Then it warms my heart......
So I Bid you all ADO for now and always keep writing you never know who you might help :)
love one can hurt you deep
I lay away thinking this is a nightmare the animal I become, I cant excape myself thou I wish I could
Some say enemy hurt the most but they are wrong! It's the love one that hurt you the deepest and I know that what
I done has left a scar maybe to deep to heal and for that alone hurt me more.
Words seam to fail, to show you, to explain the pain i am in for what i did to you. I feel a former shadow of myself.
A hole is missing from me and I ripped it out of me.Why I can't not say. I can't even tell you why I did what I did but a stupid animal need.
I scream into the night and no one hears me. I am alone for what I done
Time they say heal all wounds but I don't know if this is one wound I can wait for time to heal.
I walk to the ends of the earth and back on broken glass for you!
I would do anything you asked to make it up to you even if it ment being out of your life forever even thou it would hurt me so!
I come humble!
I come on bended knees!
Head hung low!
heart in hand!
Asking you to forgive me!
Give me a chances to make this wrong a right!
I can and I will if you give me a chances!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
Some say enemy hurt the most but they are wrong! It's the love one that hurt you the deepest and I know that what
I done has left a scar maybe to deep to heal and for that alone hurt me more.
Words seam to fail, to show you, to explain the pain i am in for what i did to you. I feel a former shadow of myself.
A hole is missing from me and I ripped it out of me.Why I can't not say. I can't even tell you why I did what I did but a stupid animal need.
I scream into the night and no one hears me. I am alone for what I done
Time they say heal all wounds but I don't know if this is one wound I can wait for time to heal.
I walk to the ends of the earth and back on broken glass for you!
I would do anything you asked to make it up to you even if it ment being out of your life forever even thou it would hurt me so!
I come humble!
I come on bended knees!
Head hung low!
heart in hand!
Asking you to forgive me!
Give me a chances to make this wrong a right!
I can and I will if you give me a chances!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
MY HUMANITY RUN BY: BELLA RISIKA RAVENA-VIDA(AKA ANGELA SPONSELLER-WOODLE)
I sit I sigh I cry I am alone I have million friend but no true one it seam to count as one
my life pass me by my days turn into night turn day my heart ache my soul bleeds for the lost love that has been taken from me
is it my fault some cruel joke of faith of karma or just the way life has been drawn out for me to suffer endlessly thou out time
why does the god hate me so or I it the devil that torment me so either or so it never so to be fair I cry blood run out of my eye blood is running from my finger tip pooling in to a dark oasis of nothingness at the bottom of my feet
my once white dress know slowly turn red with blood my heart bleed from the very spot it lay in my cheats pumping out every hurt I have endured though out my long life
my soul is gone already am a former shadow of my self so why not make it true
the passion I held for other life is draining away
I seam to care nothing but the internal bliss of emptiness no more pain no more tear will I have to shed no more worries of the life of others NOTHINGNESS IS ALL THAT IS THERE
sweat bliss of peaces it seam
it lonely as before
but what do I care anymore I wont get hurt that all that matter isn’t so
as the last of it more
of my blood cover my dress and the last of my humanity run out I am now who I should of been all along
a heartless bitch who beauty hold no bounds but love has no mercy in this heart for Bella doesn’t live here LIFE AND DEATH LIFE OF Humanity
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
my life pass me by my days turn into night turn day my heart ache my soul bleeds for the lost love that has been taken from me
is it my fault some cruel joke of faith of karma or just the way life has been drawn out for me to suffer endlessly thou out time
why does the god hate me so or I it the devil that torment me so either or so it never so to be fair I cry blood run out of my eye blood is running from my finger tip pooling in to a dark oasis of nothingness at the bottom of my feet
my once white dress know slowly turn red with blood my heart bleed from the very spot it lay in my cheats pumping out every hurt I have endured though out my long life
my soul is gone already am a former shadow of my self so why not make it true
the passion I held for other life is draining away
I seam to care nothing but the internal bliss of emptiness no more pain no more tear will I have to shed no more worries of the life of others NOTHINGNESS IS ALL THAT IS THERE
sweat bliss of peaces it seam
it lonely as before
but what do I care anymore I wont get hurt that all that matter isn’t so
as the last of it more
of my blood cover my dress and the last of my humanity run out I am now who I should of been all along
a heartless bitch who beauty hold no bounds but love has no mercy in this heart for Bella doesn’t live here LIFE AND DEATH LIFE OF Humanity
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
My Soul Mate
ack and forth .. I sit on the porch swing rocking back and forth
wind blows my hair across my face in gentle waves
past memory cross thou my mind
Thoughts of you and thought of us
Time we spent together and time in each other arms
Sweet secret kiss and the nights of long tender ones
Your arms around me safe and warm
Your heart beat matching mine
Knowing you where mine as I was your
The laugh we shared
The talking or even not at all just know
We was there one in a whole
Never to think it would end
Never to be together
Miles apart heart broken
A hole is in my heart
Pictures are fading but not the lost
Pain still remain
Tear are shed
Missing you grow stronger
And thou I know what has happen
Has had to happen
And thou I love you soo
I gave you up so
You could spread your wings and fly
Live the life you wanted but also needed
I will still carry the torch of our love in my heart and soul
Thinking of our endless love
And all the time we shared
For you taught me to love myself
And to love and trust in all again
Thou your not here I will always
Love you
For you are my half to my whole
My light to my dark
My ying to my yang
For there is no other
Who compare to you
So I will sit and wait for you to return to me
Back and forth
I sit on the porch swing rocking back and forth
In the moonlight
Breeze blows my hair across my face
A tear fall from my face for you
For our love that is gone!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
wind blows my hair across my face in gentle waves
past memory cross thou my mind
Thoughts of you and thought of us
Time we spent together and time in each other arms
Sweet secret kiss and the nights of long tender ones
Your arms around me safe and warm
Your heart beat matching mine
Knowing you where mine as I was your
The laugh we shared
The talking or even not at all just know
We was there one in a whole
Never to think it would end
Never to be together
Miles apart heart broken
A hole is in my heart
Pictures are fading but not the lost
Pain still remain
Tear are shed
Missing you grow stronger
And thou I know what has happen
Has had to happen
And thou I love you soo
I gave you up so
You could spread your wings and fly
Live the life you wanted but also needed
I will still carry the torch of our love in my heart and soul
Thinking of our endless love
And all the time we shared
For you taught me to love myself
And to love and trust in all again
Thou your not here I will always
Love you
For you are my half to my whole
My light to my dark
My ying to my yang
For there is no other
Who compare to you
So I will sit and wait for you to return to me
Back and forth
I sit on the porch swing rocking back and forth
In the moonlight
Breeze blows my hair across my face
A tear fall from my face for you
For our love that is gone!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
pain is my name
i come be for you today a former shawdow of my self ..
i am racked with pain so deep my soul is withering ..
i cannot even begain to tell you what i feel for i can not even bring the word to my mouth my mind is
in the state of pain a red glare that all i see ..
i watch my life go by .. i am laying in bed cring my eyes out begging for the sweet bliss of death..
i can not take no more .
i am cracking under the pain .
who am i but pain it self .
the life i use to live is nothing but a distance memory ..
my brain is nothing but mush pain is all that make it think ..
i am nothing i am a shadow of my former self..
i can not walk i can not hold my head high ..
i cant even see .
for what i see is red glare of pain it every where ..
please death come to me put me out of my misery..
i hear the raven calling ..
i know death is just around the coner ..
i welcome you to my room ..
to my bed come lay down with me ..
steal my breath and let me go to the sweet bliss of a pain free after life ..
let me go to the dream of a life i long to have again ..
i am not me i have no more the earthly name for my name is pain..
and i welcome you the death of my soul of my life ..
reeper come lay that death hand on me ..
i hear the raven calling the drums of my ancestry past beating in the wind ..
carry me softy in to the dream land ..
for i am dead already a walking dead ..
shadow of my former self for my name is pain .
and pain i want to be no more !!!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
i am racked with pain so deep my soul is withering ..
i cannot even begain to tell you what i feel for i can not even bring the word to my mouth my mind is
in the state of pain a red glare that all i see ..
i watch my life go by .. i am laying in bed cring my eyes out begging for the sweet bliss of death..
i can not take no more .
i am cracking under the pain .
who am i but pain it self .
the life i use to live is nothing but a distance memory ..
my brain is nothing but mush pain is all that make it think ..
i am nothing i am a shadow of my former self..
i can not walk i can not hold my head high ..
i cant even see .
for what i see is red glare of pain it every where ..
please death come to me put me out of my misery..
i hear the raven calling ..
i know death is just around the coner ..
i welcome you to my room ..
to my bed come lay down with me ..
steal my breath and let me go to the sweet bliss of a pain free after life ..
let me go to the dream of a life i long to have again ..
i am not me i have no more the earthly name for my name is pain..
and i welcome you the death of my soul of my life ..
reeper come lay that death hand on me ..
i hear the raven calling the drums of my ancestry past beating in the wind ..
carry me softy in to the dream land ..
for i am dead already a walking dead ..
shadow of my former self for my name is pain .
and pain i want to be no more !!!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
music of the night
I hear the angel flying thou the air
The music they play is inside my mind
The beat I can’t not get out of my mind .
The wind seam to blow but nothing is moving
I hear the angel’s singing for me
Is it the end of time for me?
Has death come calling for me?
I feel myself floating upward
I see my body in my bed
I follow the music of the angel
On the wind I ride
Softly and slowly as that of a mother rocking her baby
Silently the senses abandon all of that is around
And all I hear is the music of the night
Softly and gently
I turn my face away from the day to head to the night
For the music of the night is calling me
Slowly I surrender to the darkness
Letting my spirit go with the music of the night
As it call me as it has never before
As it cresses me softly gentle as my fantasy of my mind goes
With the music of the night and I leave the life I knew before as my soul take me where I long to be
With the music of the night
A life without pain and my dream began to the power of the music
The power of the music of the night
Angel of music come and fly to me and take me into the music of the night
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
The music they play is inside my mind
The beat I can’t not get out of my mind .
The wind seam to blow but nothing is moving
I hear the angel’s singing for me
Is it the end of time for me?
Has death come calling for me?
I feel myself floating upward
I see my body in my bed
I follow the music of the angel
On the wind I ride
Softly and slowly as that of a mother rocking her baby
Silently the senses abandon all of that is around
And all I hear is the music of the night
Softly and gently
I turn my face away from the day to head to the night
For the music of the night is calling me
Slowly I surrender to the darkness
Letting my spirit go with the music of the night
As it call me as it has never before
As it cresses me softly gentle as my fantasy of my mind goes
With the music of the night and I leave the life I knew before as my soul take me where I long to be
With the music of the night
A life without pain and my dream began to the power of the music
The power of the music of the night
Angel of music come and fly to me and take me into the music of the night
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
the pain you caused me!
The pain you caused me! (Written: For all who have suffered a loss of a love one. May you heal soon?)Angela H.S.S-Woodle
Written by ahsw-bsaw/07-28-2011/copy righted 2011
Is it me or is it you?
Why is it does it have to be what it has been?
Can you not see what it does to me or even you?
Do you not care that my heart bleeds as it does?
Is it possible to even know the depth which you have hurt me?
Why is it said it is better to love and lost to never love at all?
When the heart break of a lost love is so much more painful then to never love at all?
Time will heal all wounds they say but what if this wound is too deep?
My heart is cold but yet I feel as it bleeds more with each passing day will it ever stop?
Do you still think of me?
Does your heart still hurt for the pain you cause?
Is your night filled with tears?
Is your day fill with dread such that it never ends?
Do you care to know what pain you have caused me?
Well I tell you just so you know what hell my life has became!
My nights are filled with endless dreams of the past!
My tears have carved a path down my face!
My heart can’t beat without pain!
I have lost all that I cared for to live in an empty shell you have caused!
My mind is nothing but mush I see nothing life is nothing to me!
I am a former shadow of my own self!
A shell of a person that once lived!
Thoughts of death come welcome now where they never were before!
Revenge seams sweet to watch you suffer as I have!
But yet I can’t bring myself to harm you thou I should!
I know I am better than you for I don’t cause harm or pain!
Yet my heart still bleeds for the time when we were happy!
Call me a sap call me weak but one thing is true Karma is a Bitch!
And she is coming after you!
When she does it will be you who will be hurting and I who will not be in any more pain!
So laugh now as you read my words but in the end it will be me who is laughing last!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
Written by ahsw-bsaw/07-28-2011/copy righted 2011
Is it me or is it you?
Why is it does it have to be what it has been?
Can you not see what it does to me or even you?
Do you not care that my heart bleeds as it does?
Is it possible to even know the depth which you have hurt me?
Why is it said it is better to love and lost to never love at all?
When the heart break of a lost love is so much more painful then to never love at all?
Time will heal all wounds they say but what if this wound is too deep?
My heart is cold but yet I feel as it bleeds more with each passing day will it ever stop?
Do you still think of me?
Does your heart still hurt for the pain you cause?
Is your night filled with tears?
Is your day fill with dread such that it never ends?
Do you care to know what pain you have caused me?
Well I tell you just so you know what hell my life has became!
My nights are filled with endless dreams of the past!
My tears have carved a path down my face!
My heart can’t beat without pain!
I have lost all that I cared for to live in an empty shell you have caused!
My mind is nothing but mush I see nothing life is nothing to me!
I am a former shadow of my own self!
A shell of a person that once lived!
Thoughts of death come welcome now where they never were before!
Revenge seams sweet to watch you suffer as I have!
But yet I can’t bring myself to harm you thou I should!
I know I am better than you for I don’t cause harm or pain!
Yet my heart still bleeds for the time when we were happy!
Call me a sap call me weak but one thing is true Karma is a Bitch!
And she is coming after you!
When she does it will be you who will be hurting and I who will not be in any more pain!
So laugh now as you read my words but in the end it will be me who is laughing last!
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
X Marks the Spot!
X MARKS THE SPOT!
THIS IS WRITTEN FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FELT LIKE THIS OR HAVE DONE THIS MAY YOU HEAL WITH THIS WORDS THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THER ARE OTHER OUT THERE TO!
WRITTEN: BY ANGELA H.S.S-WOODLE
It gleams in the night light
No sound can be heard
I feel the hard cold steal in hand
Blood pumping thou my veins
Tears have carved down my face
I feel it sharp point
I place it to my left
Across I pull then lift and pull up to down
Blood flows red and deep
I turn to my right
Dragging it thou the same way
As I am done it fall to the ground
Blood is flowing from me
Dripping from my finger tips
Each heart beat bring it to an end
Sweet release is what I crave
To feel the pain no more
“X” marks the spot on the left and right
Music flow thou my brain I hear song from my past
Playing in my brain
Tears that have carved my face has finally ended
Breath come fast as the blood slows
Pooling on the floor running deep
The room grows dark scream can be heard
Is that my scream or another?
Can’t make my brain work
I see a white tunnel coming toward me
Voices that sound like angel’s is heard
I step thou and look around
I see all that I have lost looking at me
Their face a look of sadness I never seen before
I cry I am home! Why are you not happy for me?
No they cried it not your time!
You took your life and you can’t be here
Then a voice that went right thru me
Said my CHILD IT IS NOT YOUR TIME TO BE HERE NOR IF YOU LIFE OVER JUST YET!
I cried but I am tired of the pain! My heart can’t take no more!
CHILD HAVE I NOT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE!
Yes you did! I whispered
THEN CHILD YOU CAN HANDLE ALL THAT COME YOUR WAY! IT THE REASON YOU WAS MADE!
TO SHOW OTHER ALL YOU KNOW AND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! LEAVE THIS PLACE TILL I CALL YOU HOME!
I hung my head low as the tears ran down my face and whispered can’t I stay please don’t you love me?
MY CHILD I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!
BUT CHILD I HAVE A MASTER PLAN FOR YOU!
With that the bright light faded and I woke up
The room was quiet but the sound of crying
I coughed as I tried to speak the words I need to say to them all
I AM SORRY FOR WHAT I DID I NOW KNOW IT WAS WRONG! I WAS GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE.
I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO?
SOME TIMES THERE IS NO SECOND CHANCE LEARN FROM ME LIVE LIFE AS IT WAS YOUR LAST
NEVER KNOW WHAT TOMORROW BRING BUT DO KNOW I LOVE YO MORE THAN I CAN EVER
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
THIS IS WRITTEN FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FELT LIKE THIS OR HAVE DONE THIS MAY YOU HEAL WITH THIS WORDS THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THER ARE OTHER OUT THERE TO!
WRITTEN: BY ANGELA H.S.S-WOODLE
It gleams in the night light
No sound can be heard
I feel the hard cold steal in hand
Blood pumping thou my veins
Tears have carved down my face
I feel it sharp point
I place it to my left
Across I pull then lift and pull up to down
Blood flows red and deep
I turn to my right
Dragging it thou the same way
As I am done it fall to the ground
Blood is flowing from me
Dripping from my finger tips
Each heart beat bring it to an end
Sweet release is what I crave
To feel the pain no more
“X” marks the spot on the left and right
Music flow thou my brain I hear song from my past
Playing in my brain
Tears that have carved my face has finally ended
Breath come fast as the blood slows
Pooling on the floor running deep
The room grows dark scream can be heard
Is that my scream or another?
Can’t make my brain work
I see a white tunnel coming toward me
Voices that sound like angel’s is heard
I step thou and look around
I see all that I have lost looking at me
Their face a look of sadness I never seen before
I cry I am home! Why are you not happy for me?
No they cried it not your time!
You took your life and you can’t be here
Then a voice that went right thru me
Said my CHILD IT IS NOT YOUR TIME TO BE HERE NOR IF YOU LIFE OVER JUST YET!
I cried but I am tired of the pain! My heart can’t take no more!
CHILD HAVE I NOT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE!
Yes you did! I whispered
THEN CHILD YOU CAN HANDLE ALL THAT COME YOUR WAY! IT THE REASON YOU WAS MADE!
TO SHOW OTHER ALL YOU KNOW AND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! LEAVE THIS PLACE TILL I CALL YOU HOME!
I hung my head low as the tears ran down my face and whispered can’t I stay please don’t you love me?
MY CHILD I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!
BUT CHILD I HAVE A MASTER PLAN FOR YOU!
With that the bright light faded and I woke up
The room was quiet but the sound of crying
I coughed as I tried to speak the words I need to say to them all
I AM SORRY FOR WHAT I DID I NOW KNOW IT WAS WRONG! I WAS GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE.
I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO?
SOME TIMES THERE IS NO SECOND CHANCE LEARN FROM ME LIVE LIFE AS IT WAS YOUR LAST
NEVER KNOW WHAT TOMORROW BRING BUT DO KNOW I LOVE YO MORE THAN I CAN EVER
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
The Animal I have become!
The animal I have become!
A scream ring out in dead of night.
A roar and a growl follow it.
I look around I have lost my way.
The moon is full and shinning bright.
A tremor runs thou me.
I start to shake falling on my knees.
A roar escapes my lips.
The beast from within is coming out.
I cannot control it no more.
You all have forced me beyond what I can’t control.
I am turning it to the animal you want me to be.
I run thou the rays of the full moon.
Neither murder nor blood not on my mind.
Revenge is something in all of us.
Sound of paws running thru the woods.
Breathing deep and hard.
I am coming for you.
Watch out I am what you are afraid of.
The beast of humanity is set free.
I am coming for you.
Run run as fast as you can.
But you won’t escape me.
I will track you down for all of eternity.
You shall look over your shoulders.
Expect me to be behind you always.
And when the day comes and you are relaxed.
I shall jump on you drawing the same beast out of you as you did to me.
For now that I am an animal the beast that you have made me to be so shall you be one to.
I care nothing of murder or of blood just the sweet revenge to make you what you are so afraid to be.
But made me be the beast of humanity.
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
don’t dare try me I am not what you see I am in the thrown of hell I am burning alive with no way out those who say they care are not even there ...lies lies that all you speak to me and those around you .. you have set this hell on me why can’t you let me be your in my mind thou out my heart thou you have cheated on me lied to me mock me I still loved thee and yet I am in this hell cause of you.. Leave me be let me die and let me be in peace for I am in a living hell and death sweet death is all I crave...
let me be..
Let me be...
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
A scream ring out in dead of night.
A roar and a growl follow it.
I look around I have lost my way.
The moon is full and shinning bright.
A tremor runs thou me.
I start to shake falling on my knees.
A roar escapes my lips.
The beast from within is coming out.
I cannot control it no more.
You all have forced me beyond what I can’t control.
I am turning it to the animal you want me to be.
I run thou the rays of the full moon.
Neither murder nor blood not on my mind.
Revenge is something in all of us.
Sound of paws running thru the woods.
Breathing deep and hard.
I am coming for you.
Watch out I am what you are afraid of.
The beast of humanity is set free.
I am coming for you.
Run run as fast as you can.
But you won’t escape me.
I will track you down for all of eternity.
You shall look over your shoulders.
Expect me to be behind you always.
And when the day comes and you are relaxed.
I shall jump on you drawing the same beast out of you as you did to me.
For now that I am an animal the beast that you have made me to be so shall you be one to.
I care nothing of murder or of blood just the sweet revenge to make you what you are so afraid to be.
But made me be the beast of humanity.
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
don’t dare try me I am not what you see I am in the thrown of hell I am burning alive with no way out those who say they care are not even there ...lies lies that all you speak to me and those around you .. you have set this hell on me why can’t you let me be your in my mind thou out my heart thou you have cheated on me lied to me mock me I still loved thee and yet I am in this hell cause of you.. Leave me be let me die and let me be in peace for I am in a living hell and death sweet death is all I crave...
let me be..
Let me be...
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
Ni Hi broken my spirit
A tear falls a cry of hurt.
A sigh of feeling forgotten
A last bit of humanity of oneself.
A dream the knowledge of who u r.
Gone in a flash.
... A shadow of ur former self.
Smoke arise from the ashes of ur life.
Nothing will be the same.
Heart,soul and mind shattered into millions pieces.
Life has no meaning.
World around u is grey.
That glass u thought half full Is empty now.
What the point of caring when other don't.
Laughter will never ring.
Smiles never be.
Just as the empty words of love never true.
I shall fly on the wing odd sorrow.
Morn the lost of joy.
Beat to they drums of deaths walk.
For you-Ni hi.
Have broken my spirit.
Ni hi it is what u did to me.
For I am now on the wing of the raven.
Flying home to the greatness beyond
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
A sigh of feeling forgotten
A last bit of humanity of oneself.
A dream the knowledge of who u r.
Gone in a flash.
... A shadow of ur former self.
Smoke arise from the ashes of ur life.
Nothing will be the same.
Heart,soul and mind shattered into millions pieces.
Life has no meaning.
World around u is grey.
That glass u thought half full Is empty now.
What the point of caring when other don't.
Laughter will never ring.
Smiles never be.
Just as the empty words of love never true.
I shall fly on the wing odd sorrow.
Morn the lost of joy.
Beat to they drums of deaths walk.
For you-Ni hi.
Have broken my spirit.
Ni hi it is what u did to me.
For I am now on the wing of the raven.
Flying home to the greatness beyond
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
You don't know me!
I
sat there and listen to what you said,
tears
came to my eyes my heart broke,
how
could you say those words to me,
like
you even know me,
you
only know the part I let you see,
a
small amount of my life pain and a glimmer of my life joy,
how
dare you tell me to get a job
how dare you tell me I am a failure for I had children young,
how
dare you think your better than me with your self righteous attitude,
have
you walk a mile in my life,
have
you seen the daily struggles I go thou for the love of my children,
have
you ever been in the depth of hell like I have,
No
I don't think so!
You
sit in your tower of white and glass thinking your so much better
than I!
Yes
I made past mistake and I say it again PAST PAST mistake!
Do
not dare hold that against me for you have no right to judge me!
In
all this I hope you see buddy boy,
the
real reason you don't know me,
and
never will get to know me!
Is
your self righteous attitude you have against me!
I
love you and that will never change but hear me and hear me now
till
you walk in my life and know the depth of the hell
I
live in but STILL KEEP GOING and living life,
do
not dare tell me what and how I should be I will never be
but
who I am and what I am is me and you are still just a child.
So
if you choice to walk away from me then it is you who has lost out
not me
I
been alone for a long time now and you not being there wont hurt me
none
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
sat there and listen to what you said,
tears
came to my eyes my heart broke,
how
could you say those words to me,
like
you even know me,
you
only know the part I let you see,
a
small amount of my life pain and a glimmer of my life joy,
how
dare you tell me to get a job
how dare you tell me I am a failure for I had children young,
how
dare you think your better than me with your self righteous attitude,
have
you walk a mile in my life,
have
you seen the daily struggles I go thou for the love of my children,
have
you ever been in the depth of hell like I have,
No
I don't think so!
You
sit in your tower of white and glass thinking your so much better
than I!
Yes
I made past mistake and I say it again PAST PAST mistake!
Do
not dare hold that against me for you have no right to judge me!
In
all this I hope you see buddy boy,
the
real reason you don't know me,
and
never will get to know me!
Is
your self righteous attitude you have against me!
I
love you and that will never change but hear me and hear me now
till
you walk in my life and know the depth of the hell
I
live in but STILL KEEP GOING and living life,
do
not dare tell me what and how I should be I will never be
but
who I am and what I am is me and you are still just a child.
So
if you choice to walk away from me then it is you who has lost out
not me
I
been alone for a long time now and you not being there wont hurt me
none
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
mirror mirror
Mirror mirror on this wall-can u tell me why is world falling apart,
Why the word family like a dirty word,
Mirror mirror on this wall-what is it u see this world coming to,
Answer me plz I need to know why family not there or love unconditionally
Person person in this mirror of me-yes this world falling apart for u see u all have taken god out of ur home,church,schools, and government,
... Family has become something of the past,for now it loveless world we all live in,
Person person in this mirror of me-till u put family back in it rightful place with god as the head and mean to love to all not just a 4 letter word, ur world will end u shall see,
I have answer u what u need to be but till u heed my words family is nothing but people together for no reason with out love there is no reason...
Without out reason no life...
Family can't u see stop ur arrogance way love with all ur might as if it ur last thought.
Stop with ur self righteous way,
For ur no better than I we r all the same I love u all dearly but i will not let u bring me down.
But know this no matter what I still love u even if u don't love me .See More
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
Why the word family like a dirty word,
Mirror mirror on this wall-what is it u see this world coming to,
Answer me plz I need to know why family not there or love unconditionally
Person person in this mirror of me-yes this world falling apart for u see u all have taken god out of ur home,church,schools, and government,
... Family has become something of the past,for now it loveless world we all live in,
Person person in this mirror of me-till u put family back in it rightful place with god as the head and mean to love to all not just a 4 letter word, ur world will end u shall see,
I have answer u what u need to be but till u heed my words family is nothing but people together for no reason with out love there is no reason...
Without out reason no life...
Family can't u see stop ur arrogance way love with all ur might as if it ur last thought.
Stop with ur self righteous way,
For ur no better than I we r all the same I love u all dearly but i will not let u bring me down.
But know this no matter what I still love u even if u don't love me .See More
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
in loving memory of a fallen angel Jessica Roberston
for an angel who no longer walk with us we will miss you dearly Jessica Robertson
your smile was always bright
your laugh was always right
you where the apple of your parents eyes
you walk among us for such a short time
now you are in heaven
flying thou the clouds
we all grieve for our lost of you dear child
13 year was what we all had
doesn't seam long enough
what keep us going is knowing that your in heaven
smiling down on us
forget us not dear sweet child for we will not forget you
you have touch many heart mine included
thank you dear sweat child for what you brought to us
race thou the clouds slide down the rainbows
never let your smile fade your in heaven
we all long to see you soon
dear sweet jessica
know till we are up in heaven
we will never let your memory of you go from our heart
this is written for Jessica Robertson family and friends may this help to easy your pain
for at last we have lost one of our Angel's here on earth to heaven
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
your smile was always bright
your laugh was always right
you where the apple of your parents eyes
you walk among us for such a short time
now you are in heaven
flying thou the clouds
we all grieve for our lost of you dear child
13 year was what we all had
doesn't seam long enough
what keep us going is knowing that your in heaven
smiling down on us
forget us not dear sweet child for we will not forget you
you have touch many heart mine included
thank you dear sweat child for what you brought to us
race thou the clouds slide down the rainbows
never let your smile fade your in heaven
we all long to see you soon
dear sweet jessica
know till we are up in heaven
we will never let your memory of you go from our heart
this is written for Jessica Robertson family and friends may this help to easy your pain
for at last we have lost one of our Angel's here on earth to heaven
(copy writes 11-2011-written by AHSWS_BSAW2011-company2011
how could you
We meet in my dreams every night I cry when I wake up for ur not in my arms
U left me broken hearted when u said goodbye
I tried to move on even thought I was over u
But I saw u today with another
The world seam to stop u could hear my heart breaking
All i can think is WHY!
WHY DID U WALK AWAY?
was I not good enough? Did I not love u enough?
23 years spent together does it not mean anything to u?
I have prayed for u for my heart
The vowes that we said i meant my heart how is it that u can walk away
I cried, I screamed, I begged God to bring u back
I am doing my best each day to be a little stronger
But heed my word I will survive
But to this day I still want to know...
HOW COULD U?
U left me broken hearted when u said goodbye
I tried to move on even thought I was over u
But I saw u today with another
The world seam to stop u could hear my heart breaking
All i can think is WHY!
WHY DID U WALK AWAY?
was I not good enough? Did I not love u enough?
23 years spent together does it not mean anything to u?
I have prayed for u for my heart
The vowes that we said i meant my heart how is it that u can walk away
I cried, I screamed, I begged God to bring u back
I am doing my best each day to be a little stronger
But heed my word I will survive
But to this day I still want to know...
HOW COULD U?
in the mirror i saw before me
I look in the mirror today and what i saw brought shock to my eyes
I saw someone i did not know a shadow of the person i use to be
a person i never wanted to become this person i saw before me
in this mirror ...
In this mirror today i see what has brought shame to me
to my family and friends my dear sweet children i have shame the worst i fear ....
In this mirror today i saw what was the worst of my humanity before my own eye and it brought regret of who I was .....
NOW I stand before this mirror Knife in hand ready to reclaim who I was and who I need to be I said my Goodbyes said my love you to.........
The past I have nothing to look back on but to move forward..
I place the Scalpel to my flesh.....
Right at my hair line drew the blade down and deep
grabbing the flesh pulling it from my face...
I am now and never to be the one i was once was i am now new
watch as the blood of my past flows from my past of humanity
I am not who you thought i was i am now what once was keep under lock and key...
The evil and twisted has broken free blood pour from me would you wanna to lick it from me...
I am twisted can you not see i am what was told to be for warn stay away from her...
I am crazy can you not see it blood pump thou my veins but yet it is not what make me live the thought i got going on in my head....
You all should be afraid it would not be what is said in the point of calm sociality... I am not what the other mundane humanoids.. i am that of pure of energy of what is evil it is call by other and light by some...
I am that what i am blood flow from what was once is my face the flesh is now but a puddle on the bloody floor...
I reach out to you will you reach out to me or will you lick me dry and leave me on the floor as my heart beat no more ...........
As the blood reach my eye i am no longer shocked at who i see in that mirror...
I am not a shadow of that person no more i am me finally..
I am not ashamed of who I am for i am who I am.......
I do not regret what i have done or what i have said...
I am not the fall of humanity but the up rising of the newest form of humanity....
The self explain no need to speak but express who i am of bloody humanity ......
I look in the mirror today what i saw might of shock you all but what I saw was the bloody truth of my self... I peeled the layers of my fleshy extenuate of my own self....
.......If you looked in the mirror what would you see today ??????
(written by and copy writes 01-2012-written by AHSWS_BSAW-company-2012
I saw someone i did not know a shadow of the person i use to be
a person i never wanted to become this person i saw before me
in this mirror ...
In this mirror today i see what has brought shame to me
to my family and friends my dear sweet children i have shame the worst i fear ....
In this mirror today i saw what was the worst of my humanity before my own eye and it brought regret of who I was .....
NOW I stand before this mirror Knife in hand ready to reclaim who I was and who I need to be I said my Goodbyes said my love you to.........
The past I have nothing to look back on but to move forward..
I place the Scalpel to my flesh.....
Right at my hair line drew the blade down and deep
grabbing the flesh pulling it from my face...
I am now and never to be the one i was once was i am now new
watch as the blood of my past flows from my past of humanity
I am not who you thought i was i am now what once was keep under lock and key...
The evil and twisted has broken free blood pour from me would you wanna to lick it from me...
I am twisted can you not see i am what was told to be for warn stay away from her...
I am crazy can you not see it blood pump thou my veins but yet it is not what make me live the thought i got going on in my head....
You all should be afraid it would not be what is said in the point of calm sociality... I am not what the other mundane humanoids.. i am that of pure of energy of what is evil it is call by other and light by some...
I am that what i am blood flow from what was once is my face the flesh is now but a puddle on the bloody floor...
I reach out to you will you reach out to me or will you lick me dry and leave me on the floor as my heart beat no more ...........
As the blood reach my eye i am no longer shocked at who i see in that mirror...
I am not a shadow of that person no more i am me finally..
I am not ashamed of who I am for i am who I am.......
I do not regret what i have done or what i have said...
I am not the fall of humanity but the up rising of the newest form of humanity....
The self explain no need to speak but express who i am of bloody humanity ......
I look in the mirror today what i saw might of shock you all but what I saw was the bloody truth of my self... I peeled the layers of my fleshy extenuate of my own self....
.......If you looked in the mirror what would you see today ??????
(written by and copy writes 01-2012-written by AHSWS_BSAW-company-2012
Fallen Angel's
To live to breath
to sign a heavy sign
to be in the place
i have yet to find my way
to be not alone
to not to be afraid
to take the day
to seize the strength
that has left me
to love with out resistant
to give one self to another
to be at last peace with oneself
to be more then the darkest shadows
to be more then an empty shell of humanity
to be what should of been my destiny
but at last it is not so
i am the darkest of shadows
i am a empty shell of humanity
for i bleed because of what i am
my heart no longer beat
i can not compete with you all
i am finished
you have won
are you happy now
u finally killed me
i can not fight no more
all the fight is gone
all that i have taken from me
i am strip clean to the bone of my soul
the depth to which u have destroyed me if beyond repair
gloat for it is you who is the monster not me
at least i was real in my action
not a fake who take
go ahead and gloat it what you what is it not
but hear this and hear it right
i am not the monster that goes bump in the night
i am just the shadow u thought you saw
and now that this fight is done be forewarn
revenge is coming after you
i was an Angel of the night and now that i am fallen
WRATH that which none has ever seen shall be upon your merciless head
your soul shall feel what it is like to be what i have become
i warn you and that all i shall do for you
i close my eyes
i had lived i had breath
with my last dieing breath i sign deep
my heart has stop it beat
i am now one of the fallen angel's deep
copy write-2-20012-ahsws-B-SAW- company-2-2012
to sign a heavy sign
to be in the place
i have yet to find my way
to be not alone
to not to be afraid
to take the day
to seize the strength
that has left me
to love with out resistant
to give one self to another
to be at last peace with oneself
to be more then the darkest shadows
to be more then an empty shell of humanity
to be what should of been my destiny
but at last it is not so
i am the darkest of shadows
i am a empty shell of humanity
for i bleed because of what i am
my heart no longer beat
i can not compete with you all
i am finished
you have won
are you happy now
u finally killed me
i can not fight no more
all the fight is gone
all that i have taken from me
i am strip clean to the bone of my soul
the depth to which u have destroyed me if beyond repair
gloat for it is you who is the monster not me
at least i was real in my action
not a fake who take
go ahead and gloat it what you what is it not
but hear this and hear it right
i am not the monster that goes bump in the night
i am just the shadow u thought you saw
and now that this fight is done be forewarn
revenge is coming after you
i was an Angel of the night and now that i am fallen
WRATH that which none has ever seen shall be upon your merciless head
your soul shall feel what it is like to be what i have become
i warn you and that all i shall do for you
i close my eyes
i had lived i had breath
with my last dieing breath i sign deep
my heart has stop it beat
i am now one of the fallen angel's deep
copy write-2-20012-ahsws-B-SAW- company-2-2012
Smile hide the pain
sitting here tears are washing down my face
with a deep soul wrenching sigh
I get up and go put my face on
wipe the trail of tears from my face
with a shake of my head I grab the make up
of lies to place upon on my face
the thought that this is all a LIE
shout thou my head
what else can I do but put it on my face
I make the eyes bright even thou I know it from crying
but know one else knows
I make a smile appear big and bright thou it is not what in my heart
I try a laugh out as I look at the mirror
yup this will do ... " HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA"
see no one will suspect a thing
I hide the pain deep in side my heart
can not let the world see me cry
I must go on as if nothing wrong
I look in the mirror and see a face painted with lies
ram my fist thou the glass
I can not do this
IT A LIE
I shout at the broken webbed mirror
I can not lie to myself
I know what i feel and why should i be ashamed of it
but as the blood pools from the cuts that are deep
I watch the blood
It dark just like my soul
It smells sweet that sicking sweet smell of death
I look up in to the mirror i had just smash
Blood splatter all over it and i see a shadow in it
Turn around i see death he has come for me
Should i be relieved or should i be scared
I feel like a animal on the verge of running but yet staying to see what will happen
Death look at me
His eye are that of a depth i neverknew could existed
I see myself falling
I hit the ground
Blood that was left has fallen everywhere
I see flame come towards me
Burning me
My skin is melting
Pain beyond anything i have ever know
Lick at my very soul
I scream
The flame in gulfs me from the inside out
I am nothing but ash now
I am still alive but yet i am not
I see myself as thou someone else eyes
And what i see make me sick
Try to turn away but it as if it has me in a trances
Death had come to my side
Reaching thou the depths of the ash that is me
Pulls me out as if i was just covered in soot
Grab me by my neck bending it back
With in mere seconds he lips are to my pulsing neck
And thou it as if i am watching thou another set of eye
I feel his sweet hot breath on me
It smelled of hot spice and the thought made me laugh out loud
I feel the flick of his tongue running along my neck where my heart beats
In a flash i feel the stabbing pain as my life is drain from me
As i watch my life flow from me to his lips
I start to cry begging i don't want to die
He laugh a evil laugh
That chilled me to my very soul
Die is that not what you wanted a few minutes ago?
I utter a soft cry i thought it was
He laugh once more and
Said with a sneer in his voice
But child it is to late! I have claim you as my own!
My shoulder drop I cried as i never cried in my whole life
I beg and I pleaded let it be not to late
I just wanna go home this is not my place
And the more I pleaded the more he laugh his evil laugh
SILENCE NOW CHILD!
He scream out at me
It is Finished u are now MINE!
Now come My Child to me!
I lowered my head
Struggled to my feet
I felt the ice run thou my veins
I was cold but yet i was not
In a faint whisper i heard my heart die
The final beat of life had left me
All around me I heard scream of Anguish and shout of Joy
Seam my soul was lost and gain at the same time
As I step close to him
I saw more then before
His face was that of an angel
His lips was red of fresh drawn blood
His eye they was that of clear ice in the deepest part of Antarctic
That had a pull to them I never felt before
His skin was that of freshly brewed coffee with a dash of creamer add to it
His smell was what got me the most it was intoxicating
It bewitched my very sexual essence
As much as i did not want to betray my self
My body did it for me
I was drawn to him as a moth to the flame
It seam i would burn up in flames if i could not get closer to him
He was my master now
He control my very soul
Even as this thought run thou the cloudiness of my mind
I couldn't help but wonder why this thought came to be it as has if
Some primal need was at hand and controlling my body
I could no more help what i was doing then a baby that cried when he was hungry
At the thought of hungry hit me i felt the pain of slight in my mouth
My teeth lengthen to a point
I started to salivate at the look of blood I saw splatter all around
Licking my lips at the thought of the warm intoxicating feel of blood running
Down my throat
I swear I could taste it the spicy taste of blood that reminded me of Cinnamon and Coco all in one
Started I look up what I had thought was Death but knew him to me now the master of my soul
He started to chuckle to himself shaking his head
Child you amuse me so!
Come child I can feel the Thirst is upon you now we must feed before u become uncontrollable!
Excitement shone in his eye of ices
Who are you I asked softly
He laugh softy to himself and said Child you can call me many thing
Master,Sir hell you can even call me your lover or even Death but what I am is what you are now
A Vampire and I am who have taken you from your miserable so called life and saved you
What the Human call me a Human name that i have grown very fun of and that is
Ingram!
Ingram I repeated the name out loud
For some reason it felt familiar to me as lost thought
Yes! you know me some part of you remember me! Do not worry Child my
Askasha you will soon remember it all! Now let go before your thirst over take you
As I moved forward I look around at what now was my home
And left a lost I could not explain but knew I should morn it
I figured I have time to figure it out but now I was hungry and I knew i must feed
For the flame of my thirst was licking at my very depths of what use to be my soul.........
I am not done this started out as a poem and took a life of it own please tell me what you think and if I should continued to finish this thanks you all :) for supporting me in all I do much love to you all
copy write-2-20012-ahsws-B-SAW- company-2-2012
with a deep soul wrenching sigh
I get up and go put my face on
wipe the trail of tears from my face
with a shake of my head I grab the make up
of lies to place upon on my face
the thought that this is all a LIE
shout thou my head
what else can I do but put it on my face
I make the eyes bright even thou I know it from crying
but know one else knows
I make a smile appear big and bright thou it is not what in my heart
I try a laugh out as I look at the mirror
yup this will do ... " HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA"
see no one will suspect a thing
I hide the pain deep in side my heart
can not let the world see me cry
I must go on as if nothing wrong
I look in the mirror and see a face painted with lies
ram my fist thou the glass
I can not do this
IT A LIE
I shout at the broken webbed mirror
I can not lie to myself
I know what i feel and why should i be ashamed of it
but as the blood pools from the cuts that are deep
I watch the blood
It dark just like my soul
It smells sweet that sicking sweet smell of death
I look up in to the mirror i had just smash
Blood splatter all over it and i see a shadow in it
Turn around i see death he has come for me
Should i be relieved or should i be scared
I feel like a animal on the verge of running but yet staying to see what will happen
Death look at me
His eye are that of a depth i neverknew could existed
I see myself falling
I hit the ground
Blood that was left has fallen everywhere
I see flame come towards me
Burning me
My skin is melting
Pain beyond anything i have ever know
Lick at my very soul
I scream
The flame in gulfs me from the inside out
I am nothing but ash now
I am still alive but yet i am not
I see myself as thou someone else eyes
And what i see make me sick
Try to turn away but it as if it has me in a trances
Death had come to my side
Reaching thou the depths of the ash that is me
Pulls me out as if i was just covered in soot
Grab me by my neck bending it back
With in mere seconds he lips are to my pulsing neck
And thou it as if i am watching thou another set of eye
I feel his sweet hot breath on me
It smelled of hot spice and the thought made me laugh out loud
I feel the flick of his tongue running along my neck where my heart beats
In a flash i feel the stabbing pain as my life is drain from me
As i watch my life flow from me to his lips
I start to cry begging i don't want to die
He laugh a evil laugh
That chilled me to my very soul
Die is that not what you wanted a few minutes ago?
I utter a soft cry i thought it was
He laugh once more and
Said with a sneer in his voice
But child it is to late! I have claim you as my own!
My shoulder drop I cried as i never cried in my whole life
I beg and I pleaded let it be not to late
I just wanna go home this is not my place
And the more I pleaded the more he laugh his evil laugh
SILENCE NOW CHILD!
He scream out at me
It is Finished u are now MINE!
Now come My Child to me!
I lowered my head
Struggled to my feet
I felt the ice run thou my veins
I was cold but yet i was not
In a faint whisper i heard my heart die
The final beat of life had left me
All around me I heard scream of Anguish and shout of Joy
Seam my soul was lost and gain at the same time
As I step close to him
I saw more then before
His face was that of an angel
His lips was red of fresh drawn blood
His eye they was that of clear ice in the deepest part of Antarctic
That had a pull to them I never felt before
His skin was that of freshly brewed coffee with a dash of creamer add to it
His smell was what got me the most it was intoxicating
It bewitched my very sexual essence
As much as i did not want to betray my self
My body did it for me
I was drawn to him as a moth to the flame
It seam i would burn up in flames if i could not get closer to him
He was my master now
He control my very soul
Even as this thought run thou the cloudiness of my mind
I couldn't help but wonder why this thought came to be it as has if
Some primal need was at hand and controlling my body
I could no more help what i was doing then a baby that cried when he was hungry
At the thought of hungry hit me i felt the pain of slight in my mouth
My teeth lengthen to a point
I started to salivate at the look of blood I saw splatter all around
Licking my lips at the thought of the warm intoxicating feel of blood running
Down my throat
I swear I could taste it the spicy taste of blood that reminded me of Cinnamon and Coco all in one
Started I look up what I had thought was Death but knew him to me now the master of my soul
He started to chuckle to himself shaking his head
Child you amuse me so!
Come child I can feel the Thirst is upon you now we must feed before u become uncontrollable!
Excitement shone in his eye of ices
Who are you I asked softly
He laugh softy to himself and said Child you can call me many thing
Master,Sir hell you can even call me your lover or even Death but what I am is what you are now
A Vampire and I am who have taken you from your miserable so called life and saved you
What the Human call me a Human name that i have grown very fun of and that is
Ingram!
Ingram I repeated the name out loud
For some reason it felt familiar to me as lost thought
Yes! you know me some part of you remember me! Do not worry Child my
Askasha you will soon remember it all! Now let go before your thirst over take you
As I moved forward I look around at what now was my home
And left a lost I could not explain but knew I should morn it
I figured I have time to figure it out but now I was hungry and I knew i must feed
For the flame of my thirst was licking at my very depths of what use to be my soul.........
I am not done this started out as a poem and took a life of it own please tell me what you think and if I should continued to finish this thanks you all :) for supporting me in all I do much love to you all
copy write-2-20012-ahsws-B-SAW- company-2-2012
i am lost
help i am lost can you not see
i am lost beyond what should be
my soul is gone
heart is broke
my will has left me
i am nothing can you not see
why has this happen to me
can you not tell me please
i am tired of crying
i am tired of feeling as i am dieing
tired of shouting in the middle of a crowded room and yet no one hears me
what must i do
in order to be found
must i jump a bridge
or out of a plane
light a house on fire
burn myself to the ground
stick a gun to my head
or knife at my throat
WILL YOU SEE ME THEN
will you help me please
is it to much to ask
is it to much to do
if it was you i do it for u
but......................
at last u are not me and i am not u
i am lost can u not see me
i am cold now
it getting dark
i can not hear anything
i guess this is the end for me
i will not cry no more
i will not shout no more
i have jumped the bridge
and out the plane
i have set that house a blaze
and i have burn myself to the ground
in one hand the gun is to my head and the knife is at my throat
BAMMMMM
the gun ring out in the night
i am not lost no more
u am now just gone
to little too late was for me
u did not see me
u did not save me
i am nothing but a distance memory
i am gone
copy write-2-2012-ahsws-B-SAW-company-2012
i am lost beyond what should be
my soul is gone
heart is broke
my will has left me
i am nothing can you not see
why has this happen to me
can you not tell me please
i am tired of crying
i am tired of feeling as i am dieing
tired of shouting in the middle of a crowded room and yet no one hears me
what must i do
in order to be found
must i jump a bridge
or out of a plane
light a house on fire
burn myself to the ground
stick a gun to my head
or knife at my throat
WILL YOU SEE ME THEN
will you help me please
is it to much to ask
is it to much to do
if it was you i do it for u
but......................
at last u are not me and i am not u
i am lost can u not see me
i am cold now
it getting dark
i can not hear anything
i guess this is the end for me
i will not cry no more
i will not shout no more
i have jumped the bridge
and out the plane
i have set that house a blaze
and i have burn myself to the ground
in one hand the gun is to my head and the knife is at my throat
BAMMMMM
the gun ring out in the night
i am not lost no more
u am now just gone
to little too late was for me
u did not see me
u did not save me
i am nothing but a distance memory
i am gone
copy write-2-2012-ahsws-B-SAW-company-2012
the start of From the depths of the ink
hello my name is Angi i was inspired to start this blog cause of the poems I write. Thought maybe it would help me get my words out and if what I write can help someone in any way then I feel i did my job. So with that said bare with me if my grammar or punctuation is not in proper form but this is mine blog and I will try to do my best to do it write. LOL so with that said Welcome to my World where at time it is dark and scary and other time it is about joy and love. But either way hold on to your hat folks ur in for a bumpy road. With twist and turn and unexpected turns about. I may dabble in to my past and even my present but know this it shall never be a dull moment. Trust me it my life and it never stop to amaze even me. Now that I have warn you here we go lol
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