Morning all to who read this blog, just wanna say thanks . You all watch or read in this case as I have my ups and my downs and at this moment it one of my downs. I have a visitor yesterday and well let just say it was not a Good day it was brought to my attention and thou I kinda knew it just didn't wanted to say it my self out loud. But what can I say or do I watch my kids get their feeling hurt expelly my 9 year old son. I just wanna cry and scream so tired of being here and watching my children feeling get hurt expelly when so call family members choice to ignore them and treat them like trash.
How can you treat children like that? They have done nothing wrong it is not their fault you don't like their mom. Don't like me FINE I FUCKING DON'T care but DO NOT TREAT MY KIDS LIKE that it make me so angry that people can go thou their life and treat kids like that just grow up and be a real MAN or WOMEN for Pete fucking sake. I could go on about this but it not worth it when I can I will leave this DAMN state and move back home whether it Missouri or it Oklahoma I don't know but at least when I do get to move my kids and I will be around REAL family and yes I know that family has problems and all but at least of my father side of the family they love me for who I am and will not treat my kids the way the rest of the other family does. I am so sick and tired of being the one to offer the pubertal Olive branch to this people here. I FUCKING DONE YOU ALL CAN TAKE THAT BRANCH AND SHOVE IT UP UR ASS !! Think what you will judge me how what you want but till you live in my shoes or walk a mile in my hell of a life You don't know me at all you only know what I share and that not alot cause I leave alot of stuff out and who I am upset with!
But any way in another direction I have decided to do something about how I look body wise. Don't get me wrong I love who I am but as far as the size cloths I wear and the weight I am (and No I am not telling you what I weight or cloths size I am ) I like to loose some weight and loose a few inches around my weight. When I got cancer two years ago I had surgery to remove all the female pluming and in the process I now have 6 scars about a inch to 2 inches all across my stomach and anyone know when you have surgery on you stomach unless your like mad crazy on top of it you stomach muscles get weak there for it harder to keep it flat six pack style. Then to add insult to injury I got hurt which landed me on bed rest for I got sever nerve damage in my legs and lower back. because of that I haven't been able to walk no more and cause of that i have gain some weight which I like to loose. I know I feel better about myself if I was a smaller size. I know I know it not the size of a women that make her happy or not but to me who use to be a smaller size even thou I do have large boobs and a ghetto ass which is a family trait on my father side.
I just want to be able to go to the store and try on cloths without getting upset. Its bad enough that I hate shopping cause I am larger then I use to be and by damned I will get back there so that why I have decided to go on a diet if you will. Now here what I plan on doing it will mainly start on the 14 as the main start of the diet but between now and then I will cut down more then I have already on my soda to the point to kick the addiction of caffeine. I will also stop drinking a pot of coffee a day to maybe a cup or two and I am talking about a real size cup mot my mega cup lol. I want to cut out all processes food or additives add in food. To eat more health food and less frozen or crap food. I wanna cut how much food I eat too. Thought maybe I eat more Yogurt which I love as long as it not lite or fat free junk. I have been drinking more water but I like to get it where I am drinking 8 24oz of water instead of just 3 24 oz. I also like to start trying to do this work out DVD I have it Latin Dancing workout it got 5 DVD from starting out to heavy workout. Figured doing this deit and the work out I maybe I can build up my strength and loose weight plus figure if I do it at home when kids are at school no one see me mess up lol .
Figure I start the workout tomorrow expectantly after the way I was hurting yesterday from helping move someone my ankles felt as if it got ran over by a car. I can walk a little better this morning but it still hurts and a bit swollen Plus it will give me time to clear a space in my room to work out in. Well I keep you guys posted lol well I go for now I have talked(or in this case wrote lol) enough till tomorrow ya and remember life is short if those around you don't support you then it time to kick them out your life and have people that support you. For you do not need people that are hater in your life..Ciao for now :o)
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