Hey everyone I am so confused more then ever. What you may ask well remember me telling you I realized I was still in love with my high school sweet heart let just call him Mr. X . Well Mr. X is also a friend of mine or what you would say we remained friends thou out these years.. Well Mr. X text me last night at 1 am asking me if I was up of course I was. So we talk on the phone and thou the course of our talking I find out Mr. X is not married no more he and his old lady got divorces but they still live in the same house. For what reason I do not know yet but I am sure he tell me why when he ready. You must be wondering what my problem is well it this - ! he feel lonely and terrible about the thing going on in his life nothing it seam make his ex happy and she like to fight with him all the time and he so tired of it and 2 Well as bad as it sounds I am happy they are not married no more but yet i feel terrible about it cause I hate to see him so upset lie this and I have now clue what to do to make it better for him. I love him that much that I rather see him happy then hurting even if that meant it not with me. What do I do I want to be the best friend a person can be in this situation and just do the very best to keep my love that I still have for him at bay so not to interfere with what ever happen and yet I can not walk away from him as a friend it would crush him.
Why does life have to be so damn hard at time I know it the hard time that defines of but Sweet Josepha I had way to much share of hard time. I swear I can not remember a time in my life that was not always hard . From either getting beat as a child from ur mom who back then they did not know was depressed or had bipolar, to being sexually abused at 7. To being raped at 13 just 5 day shy of 14 birthday then to being beaten by a jealousy boyfriend. TO getting pregnant at a young age cause I was just trying to find love then of course when I found out I was pregnant Mr. X and I knew it was not his but he was willing to step up and be a father and wanted to marry me to only have my parent ship me off to a girl home for pregnant women and try to keep him out of my life . to have my oldest son having to move out of parents home to work two full time job and still go back to school to get my GED and still care for my son. to lose my son real father to a murder to meeting my oldest daughter father during a ruff morning period to have him beat me and then I leave while pregnant with his child to have him follow me and bring me back to getting beat and him taking my daughter way and that just the small details of those year there at least 14 more years i have not told you about and really to be frank just do not wanna get in to it now may be one day but not to day. As it is with the dark sky outside it is starting to cast a dark cloud over my soul and i am trying my hardest not to fall in depression twisted trap .. so I think I bid you all ado for now and remember never stop believing in your dream for if you do how will your dream come true
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