Is it bad

IS IT BAD.......   BY Angela Helene Summers
Is it bad that am always the one who understanding ,
the one that give more chances  then should be given
or that am one that no longer believe  in what anyone say they do
till they do it cause most often not they always never do what they say they do
so I am left behind in thing or forgotten.
AM I just a invisible  person
no one notice  me unless I am no longer there for their needs ?
I know I try to be a decent person
I am not perfect lward knows that .
I am quick to get angry but fast to forgive too .
I try to go out my way to help those who need it .
I love passionately  and very fierce ,
am slow to be hating someone or hold a grudge 
but when I do it stay for awhile I forgive but I won't forget.
I know people walk all over me but I try to be the bigger person and no be shady like they are to me.
I don't understand  how people can be this way.
If I could honestly  I run off to some place with no people for at least 100 mile around
just have my Internet, my books ,my computer along with food and my dogs I be happier ..
it to the point now I am getting where I don't even wanna be around anyone am tired of being used ,
tired of being the one who always understanding , 
am tired of being disappointed 
cause no one can  ever say what they mean or mean what they promise
they can talk the talk but never walk the walk ...
SERIOUSLY if I was to be gone one day say tomorrow
can ANY OF U that say that is my friend or family honestly 
would know I was gone or miss me except  for what I can do for u
but just truly miss me for me for who I am as a person a friend a family member  and WHY? 
Why would u and don't give me the standard crap everyone always say
we love u shit cause if that was so then u would if notice something was wrong to begin with
instead u didn't notice and no it too late ....
You see it is bad that I am always understanding one
or the one that give to many chances
and it extremely  bad I don't believe in what anyone say they do
and worst off I am invisible  to u and everyone around u
( ever stop to wonder why I do the things I do like dyeing my hair different colors or piercing even tattoos
hell even down to the way I dress or talk....
hmm got ya thinking now didn't I now u never know)
now what a shame is when it to late some of u will realized what happen what went wrong but
unfortunately  most of u will blame me for being gone and say it was my fault I was treated like this
I ask for it etc etc etc ..
and u know what it all wrong!!!!
Some will be mine own and in that I take responsibility 
but for the most part it is you all who is all fault
society in a whole  fault for the was we r now...
and what even worse of a shame
is no one will remember who I truly was
and as the days go on something  will grab ur attention 
and I be truly forgotten 
never to exist in anyone mind
a floating thought that once was but now a distance  memory  if it even can be called that...........
•◆COPYRIGHTED-2015-AHS-B-SAW-COMPANY-2008◆•

Into the darkness!

Into the darkness! By Angela Helene Summers (DO NOT SHARE!! WITHOUT  WRITTEN  PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR!)
In a room dark as night black as the thoughts running  though my head,
I am screaming yet u can't hear me,
I am begging wanting someone anyone to save me but yet I push all away,
I am dragging  the blade of guilty,blame  across my heart and soul,
I watch as you all pass by never seeing me,never noticing me as u walk thru,
Am laying in pool of blood of disturbing,dangerous,evil,self destruction,
But atlas No One cares!
Tired so tired of trying of begging  of just being,
So with a flick of my wrist I light the flames around me,
I watch the red hot flames sallow me whole hungrily almost selfishly,
The smoke start to fill the air the sickening smell of burning flesh is all-round
As the last of me finally burns to the ground someone might of realize 
What has happened but it to last you had your chance to help to save me,
As time goes on you all say how much you miss me and loved me, but As I
Walk all the Crap talk the whining liege of lies, Nonetheless I am still standing there just as invisible I was beforehand 
I just shake my head and walked laughing how funny that all had seam
Never knew I was alive or not to the point no one saw I was needing help
Now as I am gone they missed me but if they had truly knew me
They would of saw me rise like a PHOENIX new and improved me but not me
I slipped way quietly but harshly into the night with no one at my side
I screamed  but yet I cried then I laughed  only to sigh my last breath of this night
To wake on another plane of physical,mental latitude of nonexistent of anything or place you would never know ....
I am all around but yet I am no where I am here I am there to and from under and top beyond and not
   I am that girl you see sitting alone, the boy who don't talk to anyone
I am the mother that cries after her children go to bed
    I am the father who struggle to make ends meet
You see with your eyes not your heart
You feel with your mind not your soul
When instead you should see with your Heart not your eyes
When instead  you should  feel with your soul not your mind
Knowledge  is not all there is to behold sometime it just the actions  of true kindness and passion of understanding  the uniqueness  of the unquestionably faith we have lost within ourself for one another own struggle  of humanity  in life itself .......
In a room dark as night black as the thought running  thru my head, knife in hand ready to end it all....but you came and turn the light on for me and I saw what was really  in front of me was worthy of truly living .........
Me I was truly  unique without a doubt  worthy  Me and you stop and saw me and took the time to save me from me ......thank u for seeing the real me...
•◆COPYRIGHTED-2015-AHS-B-SAW-COMPANY-2008◆•

Fallen,Broken Angel by Angela Helené Summers

Fallen,Broken Angel by Angela Helene Summers

Broken pieces  laying on ground
Shatter, smashed  beyond  repair 
Dropping  to my knees 
Screaming,crying,howling with unspeakable  pain
Gapping  hole in middle  of where my heart and soul should  be
Blood pouring  into a pool around me
Slowly  the fight leaves me
As the last drop of tears fall
I fall to the ground 
Breath get shallow 
The light grows dim
Blackness  seam to swallow  me whole
Emptiness  becomes  a shallow  breath I begin  to breathe
I crawl my way to my feet
Shake the remaining  blood off like dirt
Watching  the hole in my chest scar over
Heart missing  soul is blackened 
Ripped my wings off
Break the halo 
Whisper  to self never again 
Love is just a four letter word
Walk wobbly  to the stream
Striping as I go
Walking deep in the frozen water watching  the blood float away
Body numbs up just like my soul
Anger begin to take root
Revenge  seam very sweet  like honey
I walk out head held high
Fuck love cause it did nothing  for me
I turn and smile a sickly smile
Gave a wink over my shoulder saying...
The Bitch is back for Fallen Broken Angel don't live here no more!!!!!!!!!!
◆°COPYRIGHT2015-B-SAW-COMPANY2008°◆

Dancing with Death!! By Angela H. Summers

Dancing with Death!!! By Angela Helene Summers (DO NOT SHARING WITH OUT WRITER CONTENT)

Thought mumble jumbled in my heads, pain raking though the body, mind and soul.. blood moon out tonight, water hot enough to boil me alive as I shall sit .. feeling mixed up thought, not straight tears done stain one own face... blood don't seam to flow as the Web and heb flow of a tide but pool in to a bottomless pit of disparity.. temperature  rises as the body grow colder, heart lay smashed as it was trash. Mind is shatter broken, running as no one home... automatically thought of nothingness , thought of everything essential,  to the mundanes of what and why and how and who and try even a bit of when ...smoke curls towards  the ceiling looking to escape,  as the flame grow brighter ,cold night air remains the same...Black and white shadow clashes  towards  one another In the epic dance of evil and good fighting over me as I am dancing with the Death.. words of sweet whisper in my ear he does tell me.. I watch as I am viewing from another company .. the twist the turn the elegance  of the dance is more then a blur to the naked eye to see but at last I see it all.. empty promises  of love one empty trust and loyalty  of those around me but yet death has remain faithful  and loyal as no other has. As we dance closer to the flames, I feel the heat burn though  me to my soul, I am tired of fighting !!! what is there to fight anymore., for the blood that should be my family is not and the one that not blood but family is no more... I am alone with Death the shadows are closing in very little light to be seen as for it like they given up on me too.. Just as I am to take Death hand like a long lost lover, I hear words that draw me back. I turn around and the faces of my children are calling to me "Momma please don't go!! Momma WE need you!! Momma WE love you!!" So with those words I see that it was just the darkest before dawn for the light has brighten  up and the shadows are fading fast.. Death call my name again begging me to come to him.. I look at my children  and turn to look at death and say "Not this time! I am not ready to let go ! Save the dance another time for you won't have  me tonight!!!" I turn to grab my children  hand and walk toward the light while death scream in agony, for he lost yet again to take my soul.... my mind stay mumble and jumbled  but it okay, pain still rakes though  me and that just means am alive..  The moon may be full and water may be hot but my heart is not smashed just yet and my mind is not shatter just a little Crack but with all good thing,  it seam all the good people are just a bit crazy you see.. so nonetheless  I know I am crazy but do you?????
°COPYRIGHT2015-B-SAW-COMPANY2008AHS10-27-2015°

You don't see me

[NO SHARING OF WORKED UNLESS WRITER HAS AGREED]
YOU DONT SEE ME ! BY AHS 9-17-2015 
You don't see me unless you need me!
You don't see me unless I can do for you!
You don't see me unless it benefit you!
You don't see me unless no one else is around!
I see you even even I am down!
I see you even when other are around!
I see you even when you don't see me!
I see you even when I don't want to!
Love, Loyalty, Honesty, Selflessness and Friendship are words it seam no one know the meaning to!.............
I am far from perfect that is true but I am Honest, Loyal even to a fault, I love without restrictions even to those who have hurt or betrayed me!
I try to be a friend to all and even more I try to be a little more selfless and more giving and understanding!
I am not without mistakes and error on my part I learn and moved on to understanding but what I can not being to understand is the way humanity has lost it way from helping one another to only me,myself and I way.....
Am I wrong? Am I lost? Am I not seeing it right? Should I give up change me? Harden my heart to stone become the Witch the world want me to be?
Become like everyone else that way I fit in just like you?
I have tried but I don't have it in me to be like you!
I am soft hearted even to those who done me wrong!
I am loving to all even those who make me questions why?
I am not perfect but I know I am me !
So even when you don't see me I see you !!
By Angela Helene Summers °COPYRIGHT2015-B-SAW-COMPANY2008°
[NO SHARING OF WORKED UNLESS WRITER HAS AGREED]

Don't Belong Here By Angela Summers

Every been in a crowd room face are the same but not 

You know them all and they seam to know you
But yet your alone for they truly don't know you

I am surrounded  by people that claim to know me
Think they love me
Or just plain  put up with me

I am a freak I am different  I am a fool
I know I don't belong here this is not my place
I feel as I was destined to be somewhere

I don't fit in I am not the right mold
I am a million  different  faces for everyone
But who am I ???

By now I should know but I don't
I just want to belong but yet I can't
I long for the touch of the one for me

I been thou many roads of hell
Only to be sacred
To have my heart and soul  broken

I am a freak I am different I am a fool
I am a million  different  faces for everyone
But who am I ???

My life is that of a story of your nightmare
Yet here I stand
Begging  to belong to something 

I often wonder what it be like to be what everyone  want me to be
A cruel and heartless  bitch as they seam to me
But yet I can't find it in me to be such one

So here I stand on my own in a crowded  room
Million  faces  yet I am no one a forgotten
Lost soul that no one know is even there........
   I don't belong here .........

©Copy right-2015-all right reserved by and of AHS-B-SAW-Company-2015©

Into the night by Angela Summers

Into the night I slip away 
It will be as I was never part of your world
A distance  forgotten  memory 

I shall love you from afar
Never forgotten  in my heart
You shall be

Into the day I slip away
It will be as I was never part of your world
Just a forgotten  memory 

Know it break my heart to be apart
But it for the best for us all
You will thank me later 

Into a dream I slip away
It will be as I was just a dream
A distance  forgotten  dream

Now your world complete 
Your family  is all you need
I was just the sub till time was right

Into the night I slip away
It will be as I was never part of your world
A distance  forgotten  memory....

©Copy right-2015-all right reserved by and of AHS-B-SAW-Company-2015©

The forgotten by Angela Summer

I am here and always there for you all
Never turn my back
Gave and even gave till it hurt
But still gave nonetheless
I love you all with my whole heart
I am always the one that if you need something I was there for you
But when it came for me to need you
You are not there
I am the forgotten
The one you know that even when you turn your back on me I still be there for you
I am the forgotten
The one you only remember when you need something or no one else can help you
Do you know what it like to be the forgotten one
I suffer alone
I cry alone
My heart breaks a million time over but yet I am still here for you
I am lonely
I feel as death would almost be a better place for me
But yet I wouldn't do it for then who would be there for you if I wasn't
I struggle daily
Pray someday you won't forget me
But I know it in vain for
I am the forgotten a person you use when it suits your needs regardless of my needs and emotions
You think am at your beck and call but
What you don't know is you are now my forgotten
I shall walk away forget you ever alive for it time
I find someone who one make me their forgotten but there everything 
So thank you for what you did I am now stronger then the forgotten you use to know
For I am no longer a forgotten soul .......

©Copy right-2015-all right reserved by and of AHS-B-SAW-Company-2015© 

Smiles hide the pain!


By:Charletta Rosewood(aka Angela Summers)











copyright-2012-AHS-B-SAW-company2012
Chapter 1-                                                          page 1

The tears are washing down my face, with a deep soul wrenching sigh. I get up and go put my face on. I wipe the trail of tears from my face with a shake of my head. I grab the makeup of lies to place upon on my face.
“The thought that this is all a LIE!” echo’s through my head.
What else can I do but put it on my face.
I make the eyes bright even though I know it’s from crying but I know no one else knows.
I make my smile appear big and bright though it isn’t what’s in my heart.
I try to laugh out as I look at the mirror.
“Yes, this will do ... HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA" !
 No one will suspect a thing, as I hide the pain deep inside my heart.
I will not let the world see me cry. I must go on as if nothing is wrong!
I look in the mirror and see a face painted with lies.
I smash the glass with my fist, gazing upon the broken pieces as if they were my shattered life.
I can no longer do this.
IT IS A LIE!
I shout at the broken webbed mirror.

I cannot lie to myself.
I am not ashamed of how I feel. I watch as the blood spills from my cuts. It is dark just like my soul.
Its smell is sweet. It is a sickening sweet smell of death.
I look up in to the mirror that I had just smashed.
Blood splattered all over it and I see a shadow in it.
 I turn around and see death. He has come for me.
Should I be relieved or should I be scared?
I feel like an animal on the verge of running but yet staying to see what will happen.
Death looks at me.
His eyes are that of a depth i never knew could exist!
I see myself falling.
I hit the ground.
                                                                                                 Page 2
Blood that was left has fallen everywhere.
I see flame come towards me.
Burning me!
My skin is melting!
Pain beyond anything I have ever known!
Lick at my very soul!
I scream!
The flame in gulfs me from the inside out!
I am nothing but ash now!
I am still alive but yet I am not.
I see myself through someone else’s eyes and what I see make me sick.
 I try to turn away but it has me in a trance.
Death had come to my side.
Reaching through the depths of the ash that is me
 It pulls me out as if I was just covered in soot.
Grab me by my neck bending it back.
Within mere seconds he lips are to my pulsing neck.
And thou it as if i am watching thou another set of eye.
I feel his sweet hot breath on me.
It smelled of hot spice and the thought made me laugh out loud.
I feel the flick of his tongue running along my neck where my heart beats.
In a flash I feel the stabbing pain as my life is drain from me.
As I watch my life flow from me to his lips.
I start to cry begging I don't want to die.
He laughed a evil laugh.
That chilled me to my very soul!
“Die is that not what you wanted a few minutes ago?”
I utter a soft cry “I thought it was!”
He laughed once more and said with a sneer in his voice.
“But child it is too late! I have claimed you as my own!”
My shoulder dropped and I cried as I never cried in my whole life.
I begged and I pleaded “let it be not too late?
I just want to go home this is not my place!”
And the more I pleaded the more he laughed his evil laugh!
Page 3
“SILENCE NOW CHILD!”
He screams out at me.
“It is Finished u are now MINE!
Now my child, come to me!”
I lowered my head and struggled to my feet.
I felt the ice run thou my veins.
I was cold but yet I was not.
In a faint whisper I heard my heart die.
The final beat of life had left me.
All around me I heard screams of Anguish and shouts of Joy!
 It seemed as though my soul was lost and gained at the same time.
 I step close to him.
I saw more than before.
His face was that of an angel.
His lips were red of fresh drawn blood.
His eyes, they were that of clear ice in the deepest part of Antarctic.
That had a pull to them I never felt before.
His skin was that of freshly brewed coffee with a dash of creamer add to it.
His smell was what got me the most it was intoxicating.
It bewitched my very sexual essence.
As much as I did not want to betray myself, my body did it for me.
I was drawn to him as a moth to the flame.
It seemed I would burn up in flames if I could not get closer to him!
He was my master now!
He controls my very soul.
Even as this thought run thou the cloudiness of my mind.
I couldn't help but wonder why this thought came to be it as has if,
Some primal need was at hand and controlling my body.
I could no more help what I was doing then a baby that cried when he was hungry.
At the thought of hungry hit me I felt the pain of slight in my mouth.
My teeth lengthen to a point.
I started to salivate at the look of blood I saw splatter all around.
 I licked my lips at the thought of the warm intoxicating feel of blood
Page 4
running down my throat.
I swear I could taste it the spicy taste of blood that reminded me of Cinnamon and Coco all in one.
Startled I look up what I had thought was Death but knew him to me now the master of my soul.
He started to chuckle to himself shaking his head.
“Child you amuse me so!”
“Come child I can feel the Thirst is upon you now we must feed before u become uncontrollable!”
Excitement shone in his eye of ices.
“Who are you?” I asked softly.
He laugh softy to himself and said “Child you can call me many thing
Master, Sir. Hell you can even call me your lover or even Death but what I am is what you are now.
A Vampire and I am who have taken you from your miserable so called life and saved you!
What the Human call me a Human name that i have grown very fun of and that is
Ingram!”
“Ingram?” I repeated the name out loud.
For some reason it felt familiar to me as lost thought.
“Yes! You know me! Some part of you has to remember me! Do not worry Child, my
Akasha you will soon remember it all! Now let go before your thirst over take you!”
As I moved forward I look around at what now was my home.
And left a lost I could not explain but knew I should morn it.
I figured I have time to figure it out but now I was hungry and I knew I must feed.
For the flame of my thirst was licking at my very depths of what use to be my soul.........






Page 5


Chapter 2-

This Thirst was burning me alive from the inside out.
I felt as I was dying all over again my Master was looking at me with concern in his eye which really stood out of place in his cold ice of eyes.
"Soon my child, My Akasha, you will feed! I must make sure that the prey we take down will not be missed nor will it be to ruff for your first kill! Ingram said to me.
"Akasha?” I question him "Why do you call me that? My name was before this was Bella!”
He chuckle softly to himself which sent chills of desire thou out my body.
"Yes I call you Akasha for that is the name you should had from birth for it mean Queen of the Damned and that my child is you.
You are the chosen one of many I could have had but I knew you were the one when you refused to be anything but yourself. You see my child I watch you for a very long time.
I have seen you struggle, your trumpets of successes even thou the lather was few and far between. I have seen every tear you cried.
Ever heartache you have had over stupid mortal humankind.
Even every smile you plastered on that pretty little face of your to hide the pain you held inside.
I watch your heart go from loving and caring to Ice just like mine." He stated to me
Baffled even to the point of struggling to come to the grips of the reality of what he said. "You watched me all this time?”
I question him again "But why I am nothing special can you not see?" I whispered to him.
He laughed harder this time amusement shone bright in his eyes of ice. "My dear Akasha I truly think you are the one to maybe lift the curse that keep us trap from the light of day!" He said to me
"But as far as you not being anything special you are wrong my dear child you have a gift that is so far beyond any mortal or immortal alike!"He said to me
"How is it I am special there is nothing special about me nor do I have
Page 6
any of this so called gift only gift is that I find pain thou out my life!" I whispered to him.
Ingram look at me then started to scream "Oh my but all that is Eywa the Goddess! Are you joking Eywa you have to be this cruel to me? Why is it this child know nothing of what was for told? Am I still being punished for my past sin? Have I not Eywa done what you asked of me? Why must you make it so difficult for me to live in peace!" He screamed to the sky above.
I cowered in the corner least his angry came toward me I have seen Ingram tear a man apart to mere bits for crossing him.
"Eywa?' I squeaked out when Ingram seem to have calmed down. He turns his eyes of cold ice on to me and I started to shake in my very spot.
"Oh my dear sweet child, please do not be afraid of me. It is not your fault you do not know what is for told of the prophecy of who you are. No one can blame you.  You were raised as a human not as a Queen!"
He stated to me in a calming voice that seem too released the tightly wrap coil around my cold heart. "Come, my dear child we must go and find another spot to find your prey to feed on. It seam my little outburst might have forewarn any potentially prey here."
I got up from my spot only to be slammed with what seem to be a unquenchable Thirst that knock the very breath out of me.
I looked at Ingram with fear in my eyes.
My very body felt as if it was dying from the lack of Blood.
I felt was I was burning from the inside out engulfed in a flame the consumed me.
I utter a small weak cry as the tear of blood flowed from my eyes.
At once Ingram was at my side softly as I never knew picking me up and whispering to me " Come my dear sweet child I shall carry you and when we reach our new hunting grounds I will bring you the prey all you have to do is drink to regain your strength. I am so sorry my dear I should have known better and should of not wait so long to let you feed. Please forgive me my sweet little Akasha?"
He nearly cried as he carried me from where we had hid from stranger.
I look in to his eyes one that I thought was eyes of pure Ice and realized that I was wrong.
Page 6
These eyes only held the pain and struggles of a long life without love and in these eyes for the first time I saw what true love was.
I knew we had a long road ahead of us but it was for told we be together.
So with that last thought I whisper to Ingram "I forgive you and shall follow you anywhere you go. Just never leave me?"
Ingram eyes shone bright with love and concern as I last utter those simple words and he whisper back at me “I never shall leave you! I have waited a many millenniums for you to come in to my life to help me atone from my sins! I shall never leave you, you are my heart, my everything!"
I lowered my head as Ingram carried me off to a unknown place so that we may feed and I may gain my strength to help him figure out what we must do next..........
I could feel the Moon had risen, next to me Ingram started to stir awake. I knew that in a bit the thirst would over take me if I didn't feed soon and with that thought Ingram woke competently awake. Turn his clear eye of blue toward me and a soft curve of a smile on his sexy lips.
 “Evening  my Akasha I can feel you are hungry no? He asked softly that if it was not for my now newly found hearing I would of not heard it. “Yes My love I am can I go with you to hunt this time? I do not want you to wait on me as if your a servant to me!” I replied. He chuckled amusingly
“Me your servant? Oh my dear sweet child I would go to the end of the earth for you! Just so you may have all that you need or every wanted!”
 It was my turn to laugh “Oh my love you are to sweet to me for what reason I can not comprehend. “ I softly cooed to him. With that being said I rose from out bed to walk to our bathroom to wash for out night of hunting knowing that if I look that of a Angel of the Night then I could just maybe trap my meal. I shudder at the thought I now refer Men to as my meal. Unlike Ingram I could not make myself kill my prey I could only take what I need to sedated my thirst. Even thou Ingram encourage me to finish him off so I would not so thirsty all the time I just could not  bring myself yet to do it. As I was looking in the mirror adjusting my hair that use to be so lifeless that now shone as it was alive and move on it own. My hair use to be that of a copper now was a bright red of a rose
Page 7
that just bloomed. I stood a few more minutes in front of the mirror  when I heard Ingram coming to the bathroom door already dress. He had a look I never saw in his eye before. It was that of pride,peace and lust. I turn to look at him and ask “ Ingram why do you look at me like that so?”  I whispered to him. Laughing heartily he looked at me “Do you really not see what I see?” He asked me. “No what do you see all I see is a women who has suffered for all her life and was lonely but now I have you.”  I said looking at him thou the mirror in front of me. Ingram walk up behind me and put his arms around me taking his left hand making my face look at myself in the mirror and replied “ Look at yourself not with your eyes but thou mine!” As he placed his right hand to where my heart use to beat. “Look at what I see! I see this extroversion  of a women who even thou been thou Hell and back has still remain someone who care not only of what other are going thou but what she can do to help ease their suffering. I see a true pure soul that can and will break not only my curse but the curse that is also on the fallen of mankind!” He continued as he stroked the side of my face with the back of his hand. “Your beauty can not compare to not even to Eywa  herself or that of  Aphrodite's looks. To me nothing can compare to you all other pale compare to what is inside of you. For not only do you have that of true beauty on the outside but what you have in your heart and soul is so much more then the purest diamond or gold!” As he trailed of the vision of what he saw of me nearly knocked me over and had not  Ingram been behind me pressed up against me I am surely would have fallen! I saw a women with hair so red it look as if it was alive, touch of highlight seam to hit in the right spot that her hair look like red gold sunset one moment next that of red hot lava. Her skin was that of purest white driven snow not a flaw was in that skin of porcelain. The most shocking was her eyes it was that of a bright emerald green as if a light was shinning thou them. What was more strange those same Emerald green eyes could show compassion and love but there was a hint of the passion of angry if was betrayed or crossed with a way of making a person stop in their track. Then to see the air of confidence that strolled around her as if it was a cloak or second skin, Standing tall with shoulder back that brought forth her heavy laid bosoms to her slim
Page 8
fitting waist to her shapely hips of a women who could hold her ground but was still soft  as a women should be. I was so shocked I nearly cried for when I look back from what Ingram saw of me I saw him in the reflection of the mirror you could clearly see the love he had for me shine out of his eye there was no mistake about it he truly loved me. I started to cry softly as Ingram turn me around to face him saying “Now you see why I look at you so? I have never though I could love another so much as I do you! You complete me and make me whole. I can feel as I can live all my day in the dark as long as you are by my side.” I look up from where I had laid my head to stare in his eye that when I first meet him thought was eye of ice but now I see are filled with love. “I will never leave you my love I shall follow you to where ever you may go as long as you wish me to be by your side!” I whispered softly but knew Ingram heard me for his eyes light up and a smile came across his handsome face. With that he lean down to kiss me and place me in a tight grip of a hug that would of crushed a normal person. I started to laugh as at that moment the thirst had hit me and made my stomach rumble which in return cause Ingram to laugh hard which made me laugh harder. “Come my love let go feed so that your thirst may not be come out of control. I know who you do not wish to kill the prey but hear me now never let the thirst become uncontrollable for if it does you will have no control over yourself and many will die at you hand!” Ingram had warn me. I shudder at the though of  me being out of control and hurting a innocents. “Lets go then I am dress for the night and I shall like to get my fill without killing anyone if that is possible may take me a few men but I am game for it!” I had stated to him. Ingram just chuckled and grab my hand and said “Let go my love the night is waiting us and we have lots to do before the sunrise run us inside!” As we walk out in to the twilight of the dark night the moon shown bright as look as if it was a promising night for us to hunt we could hear the sounds of music and laughter in the air. I raised my head to the sky with a deep inhale of the night I could smell the pumping blood that was to feed me tonight as I was sure so could Ingram. I turn to look at Ingram as he look at me, we grinned to each other and ran off in to the night for our meal...

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Chapter 3
I could feel his eyes upon me as I walk by here I was acting as a helpless female that was lost. His eye shone of clear lust and I was hit hard with what his mind was saying. I struggled not to laugh at loud at the thought of his was washing over me. I keep my face that of a frighten women lost. I took the the first left into the dark alley where my lover waited in the dark just in case I ran into trouble but with my thirst heavy upon me I knew this Hungry evil man was going to die at my hand tonight. As I came at the end of the alley I turn toward my prey and ask in a small but sexual voice to lure him in closer. “Oh my Goodness I didn't see you there can you help me? I am so lost and need to find my way.” As he approach I could feel the beat of his heart pumping fast at the thought he was going to get lucky. A small sharp pinch in my mouth let me know my fangs had come out. When he was with in my reach he pulled out his knife saying “Well ain't you a pretty little thing! I think I can help you, thou I do not think it in the way that you want but I am sure going to have fun!” As he laugh he grab my arm and me allowing him to drag me to him. I squealed as I though him and in a flash All he heard from me as I drain him of his life force “I think it is the other way around for you are helping me in my feeding and you are nothing more then scum of this earth and you will never be missed!”
As the last drop was gone for the wrench of a human Ingram came out of the shadow with praise on his lip and pride showing thou him “Well Done my love you are truly a natural at this and here I was worried for not a thing happen.” I threw my head back and laugh “Thank you my love! But I am still Hungry may I still feed or must we go to another part as to not draw attention to ourselves?” His reply was simply “Yes my Akasha We must go for now it is also my turn to feed as well!” As we disposed of the corpse We ran thou the night to another neighboring town. As he feed I did so too it was that of pure euphoria bliss of total Ecstasy! I had never felt the passion I felt as when we were feeding together. As the morning sky started to peek Ingram grab my head and rushed us to our new home. As I stripped the cloths from my body making my way to a hot shower Ingram grab me from behind places kiss along my neck. I felt my undead heart skip a beat and the
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heat pool in my loins. I turn around to face him whispering softly “Did I do alright for you my love? Was it a wonderful night. I knew felt so alive my dear.” Ingram look at me and gently caress the side of my face whispering back at me “ Yes my Love, My Akasha. You did far better then I could ever expect you have to done. It was a wonderful night to see you as you where meant to be my Love.”  All the while I was looking deep into Ingram Blue eyes I felt my undead body heat up and pool in the pit of my stomach. My chest ached for his lips to suckle them my most inter parts throbbed to feel of him. I felt his arousal against the under soft side of my stomach. The next thing I knew we was in a blur in the Hot steamy shower his naked body pressed against mine his hands as well as mine was everywhere. The intoxicating of freshly feeding has turn our scenes up a knot and it seam the world could end right there and we would of never knew for we was lost in each other. Bring each a pleasure higher then the last. The night flew and dawn had approach fast upon us and only then did we slow down our feverish pitch of lovemaking. As I laid my head on Ingram chest I struggle to regain my breath. Ingram chuckled softly to himself I raised my head and look at him asking “What so Funny?” in reply Ingram laughed a little louder “Nothing my Dear Akasha This is the first time in a very long time I have been out of breath and yet I am still ready for more.” then in a serious voice that put all joking aside “Akasha I have wait for a long time for you to come back to me. I had all but given up that you would save us all! When the Magi took you and put you back into a Human life and wiped your memory. I swore that Eywa was loosing her ever Goddess mind! “ At the word he spoken I had seam to went blind the room went black and there I saw myself as I am now but yet different more graceful and even dare say elegant. I had a air of coincidence about me as I walk before the Counsel member  I was talking yet I could not hear what I was saying but what I notice was the group of Magi standing I the shadows talking to themselves point in my direction. One in particular was staring hard with the face of hatred on her what would have been a lovely face. I gasp as I realized who she was. I could not believe that Lillibella Had betrayed me in the worst way. She had swore to protected me as my bodyguard as well as my best friend and teacher of the magic. I felt tear fall from my
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face dark red drop of betrayal of a close friend. As the moment went forth I saw the whole set up taken place where Lillibella trapped me in a spell and sent me to the Human world where I lived my life out as thinking I was a Human and felt alone and lost my memory was take or so she thought but right before the memory spell hit me I saw Eywa in front of me saying I will be able to remember when the time is right. The last I saw was Ingram breaking though the door trying to rescue me and the fight he put up in order to save me and the people. When he was able to get in the room all was left was my crown on the floor and Lillibella quickly taken a vile of poison to act as she had put up a fight for me and lost. She of course would be healed and then in return over turn the Council and banish the people to the dark for al of eternity. I started to scream even as I heard Ingram calling me back to him “Akasha come back to e my love you are safe I swear my life I will keep you safe come back to me !!” Slowly the room came back into focus and I collapse into Ingram arms sobbing for the lost of my life the lost of my people and family but mostly for the lost of my dear friend who betrayed me for selfish reason I could not even imagine. After some time when the blood tears seam to stop flowing I begin to feel angry of what I saw and what had happen to me and the people. I lifted my head from Ingram chest and wipe my face leaving a trail of smudged tears and said in a low but deadly voice. “Where is Lillibella Now!”  Shocked register on Ingram face as he realized I not only had my Memory back but I knew what had happen and was in a very dangerously angry mood  Slowly He spoke more out of curiosity then fear  “ I am not sure but I would have to say she be at the Counsel house . Why do you want to know/ What did you see, Where did you go?”  I turn my head to look him in the eye and what he saw he told me later had frighten him to his very core of his undead soul. My eyes that are normally a bright emerald green had taken on a look of fire red that was almost as if they where someone else and the power that came from them could of if I had wanted to kill. Then he heard me speak as if I had never left the Counsel. “ I now know what has happen to me. I know who is responsible for what I have suffered and that of my people. I saw how you my dear guard Ingram did everything in your power to save me. What I do not know is why I was betrayed my
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my very own. But I do now I will not rest till I have brought her to justice of my own record and she has been made to suffer as I and my people have. Death is what she will be wishing by the time I am done with her!” By the time I had said my peace the room was filled with the feel of magic that was moving and bouncing stuff off the walls. Ingram later told me I was glowing a red color as if my aura was ingulfed in flames he was at awe and frighten.  “Akasha my Love please calm down I can not blame you one bit for you being angry or for you wanting revenge but even as your former guard and now your Lover and Soul mate I must warn you Lillibella is not without her own resources She has spent this many years while you was gone making her own personal attack dog if you will that has either upon their own record join her or by force. I say we must and I mean we really must have a plan of action before we go all gun ho as the humans say!” then He put his hands on my shoulder to make sure I heard what he said next “I love you my dear Akasha I have waited so long for you to come back and I will not loose you again do you hear me? I Love you Akasha! You are my Soul mate my love my whole stinking reason I have lived this long was to wait for you. I will not allow or let anyone and I mean anyone take you away form me! You gave me back my heart, my soul my whole reason to live! Please wait and we will do this together I promise you.”  The room stop glowing red and the furniture stop spinning and floating around the room when Ingram words reached not only my head but my heart and I knew what he had said was true for I had felt the same with him even before I realized I Love him too.  “Alright Ingram my love I will wait and know I love you too. You are my everything and for you and you alone I will wait and we can do this together I promise nut my Love we have to our people has suffered to long under Lillibella thumb and I be more Damned then I am now if I let her get away with what she has done!” Ingram put his arms around me and lowered me to the bed. “I understand my love but first before any planing of revenge you must sleep then tomorrow we will plan and by the way your power was showing it self off we will need to retrain you so if will not harm you in battle but be used as a weapon. “ I just laugh at the thought of us training and settle down and snuggled closer to my mate closing my eyes.
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Chapter 4

Ingram side of the story where it all begins His Services to protect Princess Akasha and in return h found not only his Soul mate but his best friend till he lost her.......


Ingram you need to get ready for your duties said Baldassare  Ingram father said. Looking at his son as he hurried to finish getting dress for the Council meet to which Akasha was to be formally introduce as the Princess of the court. I am hurrying Father as fast as I can the uniform is a pain in my arsh you know why do I have to wear such thing instead of blending in as I would to protect her? Ingram replied while fiddling with his belt and sword at his side. Baldassare just chuckles to himself remember his first time as the King protector and his hatred for the silly uniform. As his wife Clemente walked in and to their son Son you know it is a right of passage in our cultural to bring the Princess Akasha in to the Council with a presentation and you as her Protector must also be in proper uniform. Yes mother I know just hate feeling so stiff let alone standing there for all to judge me I can only imagine how Akasha feeling the last I talk to her she was spiting nail about what she had to wear I nearly fell over at what she said . INGRAM hush your mouth both Baldassare and Clemente said at the same time. You may never speak like that about Akasha I know you two was raised together but from this day forward you are to act as her Protector not her friend said his father . It is the up most important that she is to be out of harms way at all times. I will let you in a secret there has been news of a rumors that our Magi or outsider may turn against the Council and the King. It could be just that a rumor but till we know for sure we must do all we can do you understand me son . Yes father I do replied Ingram. Good then let go we do not have time to spare Clemente I shall see you in the grand Hall my Love. Baldassare said. They made there way to the grand hall where the High Council was already seated, the King Alessandro was seated. As they enter the king and council looked at them and simple nodded their head in the direction of them. A few second went by and the
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sound of Music was played and Ingram walk to the door on his right open it and asked Akasha if she was ready or not but softly only she could hear it and in return she replied It now or never right. As she walked out Ingram fell back two steps behind her as the rule and walked next to Lillibella who was Akasha Magi and also her Protector and teacher of Spells. Ingram nod to Lillibella as they walk behind Akasha both lost in their own world but watching for what seamed to be hidden treats. When Akasha reached the center of the room both Ingram and Lillibella went to their side behind her. As the Grand Council made it speech about Akasha being of age to enter the court and the seat she is to take and her duties Ingram notice a leer on Lillibella Face for that split second He thought he saw it all wrong when he blinked it was gone and in it place as before a perfect face of adoration, He shook his head slightly and thought he imagine it and went back to scanning the room he saw his mother and father both by the King side but clearly saw the love for him and Akasha upon their faces. Akasha raised her head and repeated the words of right and then walk to her Chair on the Council as she walk so did Ingram and Lillibella walking right behind to take their place beside the

from the depths of the ink: My Knight

from the depths of the ink: My Knight: I once saw you as my Knight, a fairytale come true .. A love that defined all odds.. I once thought you love me. Beyond all my 100 shades of...

My Knight

I once saw you as my Knight, a fairytale come true ..
A love that defined all odds..
I once thought you love me. Beyond all my 100 shades of Fucked upness, 
Beyond my Demons and baggages... 
Beyond who the world thought I was!! 
I started to Smile more laugh a little louder, 
Loose myself in what I thought was love! 
I look at the day as just that a new day with you... 
Thought I found my happily ever after.... 
BOY!!! was I wrong there no such thing as love..
No such thing as fairytale....
But most important no such thing as a KNIGHT!!!!
You broke my heart that couldn't afford to be broken again.. 
You shattered my soul...
You broke what was so FRAGILE there no repair for the damage is beyond repair.. 
I am now the Queen of Broken and Frozen Hearts!! 
The Bit€h of all Bit€hes!!!
A shell of who I was.. 
I could care less of What is or was of Love!!
I no longer dream or care to dream its all a lie anyways.... 
I am no longer walking with my eyes blind...
My heart is gone!
My soul is blackened!
But don't worry your pretty little head,
I will be fine I always am!
Remember my once knight.. 
I am Queen of Broken and Frozen Hearts!
Bit€h of all Bit€hes!
Maybe I should thank you,
for making me see the real world for what it is ......
A cruel and heartless place and Love is just a dirty four letter word people throw out to get what they want! 
So THANK YOU MY NOW FORGOTTEN KNIGHT 
YOU MADE ME WHO I AM!!!!!!!
(COPYRIGHTED2015- AHS-BSAW- 2015)

am back again yes again

Well what can i say i am back yes that right am back again i know it been some time between but honestly a lot has happen and i do mean a lot fist there was a break thou with me i finally just out of my comfort zone and started to date and for 7 months it was great till we hit the the middle of the 7th month and the 8 th month and it went down hill fast and when i mean fast it was like whiplash fast before i knew it i was crying and hurting so bad i never saw it coming and yet i still tried to hold on thinking we could get thou this but at last i was wrong we did not and now that it had some time i am feeling like i can and will survive i know sounds so cliquey but to understand u have to know i haven't dated in like 8 to 10 years so this was a big step in my part on stepping out in the dating world and i got burned bad the first time i did but at last i still found out i can do it now at this moment i am not dating cause there a few thing i wanna take care of and the first this is myself and with that is i am on a journey to bettering me one of the way is i decided to write more my blog and my boo and my poems and the second is i started going to the gym  and let me tell u the zumba class is kicking my ass hard core but i am going to do it i got a weight lost goal in mind and a time frame too
   Second thing that has happen was my youngest son started to have more meltdowns with his Autism and he started showing signs of having seizors and his grades went from straight A's to failing and that not my son he too smart . I know some of u are like how would u know he autistic well he had a test done and let just say he off the chart smart his speech is what stopping him well with some changes made ad more music therapy he is getting better and thank goodness he not having anymore seizors and i could go on and on but as they say it is what it is so i am back and decided maybe add a thing on here where i can answer people question or talk about a topic not sure yet welli going to go for now and work on my book some m or talk to ya all later