It has been a long 36 hours .My son has a lump under his right nipple and it the size of a nickel and it only on the right side. so after taking him to the doctor and her looking at him and we had blood work drawn and now we are waiting in limbo to find out what is going on. what i do know is that it maybe cause from one of his medicine he taking and with that you sit and have your mind wondering to all the bad thing and all the even worse thing and all the while trying to be brave and act as nothing is wrong for your child sake and it hard cause when they went to sleep i didn't break down i just sat down slump my shoulder and I prayed that what ever it is if it not thank you if it is that we as a family could get thou it.
Then also today we started intensive therapy for my son to help work with him on what my ex husband did on the physical and mental abuse he did to us so we are now going twice a month on top of the in home therapy that come twice a week and the behavior doctor we see every two months. I would drive to the end of the world and back if it what it took to help my 11 year old son with his problems that he has no idea how to deal with. Which is another reason i refuse to date. My children and i have a few things we need to work though before i even think about dating anyone Wouldn't be fair to that person and i know as i hope my children know that not all men are like my ex husband but right now is just not the right time anyways
So with that said i had a big shock happen my Father showed up along with my mother and my niece and nephew.So they could drop off the gift for my 18 year old and all but what bad thou is and maybe i am wrong but i feel they only came cause of feeling guilty not sure i had spoke to my grandmother and aunt and uncle at my cousin wedding Saturday i said i was done i was not begging NO ONE to be in my children nor my life. we are better off then being disappointed but let me clarify I am not ungrateful that they came I really am just wish it was for the reason they want to be in my children life. Hell we been here in Missouri for two years and this is the first time they came to see me they are only a hour away. I did go see them when i first moved here and had a vehicle but when it died i couldn't go see them they never came to me. Heck my 11 year old didn't even recognized his own grandfather nor did my own niece and nephew know me which in a way it hurts a bit.
But oh well maybe in time who knows all i know is after only 2 hrs sleep in the past 36 hrs i am beyond emotional wiped out and physical drain but what i do know is I love my Children with all my heart and I will always be there for them no matter what they do or who they love for i am their parent always just as they are always be my babies ...
So as I end this if anyone that truly read this and you have children please hug them close tonight and often always tell them you love them and that you are proud of them and you always be there for them no matter what!! For tomorrow is never promised and you never know when time will be up and you not get to say what you mean or how you love them .. trust me i know very much and i never want anyone to feel that lost of a love one ever the regret is a hard thing to live with ... Night all Thanks for reading and Following this blog ......Angela
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