What it for anyways the question on everyone mind????
and if it not on your you are a damn liar cause at one point in time we all thought of it. Me more often than not i have thought of it alot and i wonder why do we try why do we do the thing we do. What is the point in it all what do we get in the end a reward in said heaven or do we work our ass off for little only to die and leave more debt for our love one. Seriously what and why do we do this to ourselves or to others. Hmm maybe i better explain to you for those who read this or one that may come across this blog.
I am 34 i have been what i thought was love but in the end was not it. I have children 5 of them 3 boys and 2 girls. I struggle everyday to make things better for my children but yet not allow them to be spoiled to the point they can not do thing themselves. I do not date for the fear of my children getting hurt the past ones i dated ended up not only hurting me but my children too and i refuse to allow that to happen by my hand by allowing another man in my life I rather i be alone then suffer or my children suffer either. Yes i know there are men out there that are not like my Ex's but let's be honest I am a single 34 year old mother I can not have any more children to give that said man and now a day what man would be willing to raise another man child when they themselves can not have one with that mother . That where i am at most guys will play house for a bit but when the tough get going they do so too.. So I figure why put myself or my children out there to be hurt in the end when they leave why feel as we can be a family when that what we wont be. I use to wish that the stories i read or the movies i watched would be my life some kind of fairy tail happy ever after but in the end my life is not a classic fairy tail nor a oscar movie where true love happen and everything wonderful happen. sadly my life is a mundane repeat of same old same old I get up in the morning i take care of my children i either clean or cook or do laundry or watch tv sometime i break it up with writing or reading hell right now i am playing BINGO games on my tablet like a old person. Why cause i have no social life what friends i have can run around or go out and party or better yet if they have children they let them do thing different then I would.
Hell as i write this Dirty Dancing playing on the screen and i am in a small part of way wishing i could be like that. Don't get me wrong I still dream in my dream and deep down in my Imagination that romance is still alive and one day my Knight in shining armor will come riding in and swept me off my feet but as life has shown me there is no Prince charming no sweeping me off my feet and there is no true love for me so i come to what the title says "What it for anyways?" Why Bother anymore I feel as I am destined to live alone like that one true soul mate is not out there for me Why is there so many romance novels or movies that fill our head with false truth about Love sometime i feel that there should be a story where there no happy ending and it based on real life romance of how who u thought was the one is not the one but just the frog you thought he was not the prince.. Maybe i am being cynical about life and love but I can only go by what i have been thou and what I see look at my mother and stepdad they was married for over 24 years and he went to war for the country and for our freedom as the government said when he came home he was not the same and he walked out of a 20 plus marriage for no real reason at least none that he can give us. I seen married friends who are soo unhappy that they fight all the time but yet wont get divorced or ones that are so lonely in their marriage they forget who they are and How can you ask me to believe that true love is real only true love i see is that i have for my children or a parent and their child maybe i am wrong but what else can i do but go with i know . then there life it self I see people who are good people struggle so hard and always end up right in the dirt yet there are the ones that lie and steal and they have everything what wrong with this picture can you tell me
Did I ask to be beaten to a bloody pulp or my heart broken almost beyond repair? No i didnt of course some can say it was the choices i made but even then I didnt ask for it nor did the person who lost their job and now their house is taken too What happen to taken care of one another being a support system that people could really depend on.. America use to be one of the richest and most wonderful place to live now we are almost a sovereign state like other countries Our children are not smart let alone self effentint they are overweight hell we are all overweight we have more homeless veterans and family then there ever been jobs are harder and harder to find now a day and it boils down again WHAT IT FOR ANYWAYS
you can call this a rant and rave call it what you will but at this point in time i wonder WHY WHY What The Point ANYMORE can someone answer me this ?????
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