Dad releases audio of teachers allegedly bullying autistic son

Dad releases audio of teachers allegedly bullying autistic son


this make me so effing mad am seeing red and if it was me i would make sure those stupid people who call them self a teacher need to be fired with out pay.. If this ever happen to my Autistic son I woulds make sure THEY life was a living HELL!!!!!

Here I stand a song I wrote

Here I stand

(just a side note beside poems I use to write song lyrics so bear with e it been that long of a time since i last wrote one enjoy)


I sit here in the dark tear streaming down my faces.
Your face come to my mind and my heart break even more
I told myself I would let another hurt me again
And instead u walk right in and stoked my heart string
Crept in like a thief in the night and walk away with my heart
How could you be the one who walk tho my wall I build around me
How is it you could look at me know who I was and still took my heart

    I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am
    It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win
    I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am  
    It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win

It hurt so bad how I love you now when I never wanted to love
How is it possible I didn't see the lie that floats around you like a flag
It cut me deeper to see how you played me for a fool
Without you I live a little closer to the edge of death

   I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
   It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win
   I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
   It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will  never win

In the end you had done what you set out to do you have stole my heart
So clever you have done to these endeavors to my heart
It is over it is growing strong till I will fade away
You sneak in like a thief in the night and took my heart
Surround me till I feel apart I feel you creeping in on me
I just never knew this day would come to the end

      I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
      It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win
      I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
      It was never fair I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight I will never win

I hate what I have become. I hate who I am now intoxicated by what I though was a love from you
Now all I want to do is burn this world down I have lost my mind it cause you had to have it all
You had to take what was not your you greedy man who had to have it all
Don't you have enough without taking what you don't deserve

        I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
        It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win
        I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
        It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win

Are you so cold you could not face me like a man had to stalk in the shadows
One by one you made your way in to my heart . you are so cold you had to take what was not yours
You had a plan all along to bend me to your will but that all right i will not let you have another try
You are so cold but you feel so alive but lay a hand on me and you will see how i end it alright

          I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
          It was never fair. I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win
          I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am   
          It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win

Here I stand helpless and left for dead but you close your eyes that so many days go by and
you don't even know what you did to me
I say good bye as I rather dances with the devil tonight I can not look you in the eye as I am dancing with the devil
I had believed in you and you had show me the truth of your self you are the devil I dance with tonight
Came as a thief in to my heart and took what you wanted left me to dance with the devil
                   Here I stand helpless and left for dead i know
               I lost my way , I lost my way,  I lost who I am , I lost who I am  
            It was never fair, I never had a chance, It was not a fair fight, I will never win
You crept into my heart and stole it from me so I sit here in the dark with tears streaming down my face again


copyright©2012-ahsws-B-SAW-company-©2012

so sorry for not writing

hey everyone wanted to say I am sorry I have not written in a while but between the death of my Beloved Rocky and me moving back home I am so busy and have not had time to sit down and write .. I wanted to say I am sorry and for all that do read this and I am not talking to myself thank you for understanding and I promise after 19 days then I be on my way home and after i get settle in I promise I be back up and running again so please bear with me love ya ..

Ain't that a shame!

My heart is numb...
No longer beating a beat
I am but a shadow of who I once was ..
I am numb to the world hate want to fill me up yet what little of who I was won't let it ...
I no longer care I no longer feel numb is what I am ..
Take heed of what I say if I still talk to you count yourself lucky
For the rest of the world can kiss my ASS...
I will allow small amount of those I know truly care into my heart but those who hate or care not for me or my own can go straight to Hell ...
I no longer care of what other think of me or my own ..
Love me as I am or leave me alone ....
I have no time for ignorance nor tolerate those who hate...
Drama is in Ur name begone
Ur wasting Ur time
Hear my words for I won't speak them again ...
I am done with love and done with care , done with the HUMAN RACE...
For I care no more don't paterize me by saying this to shall pass ..
It a little to late it was a long time a coming ..
I did my best but I was beaten down by the race ..
I can no longer believe that this is what is called fate ...
I had it up to here beyond my face..
My eyes have lost it sparkle...
My soul has lost it faith..
I AM NOT HERE'S OR THERE BUT A SHELL OF THAT OF THE HUMAN RACE......
I CARE NO MORE OF WHAT HAPPEN TO ME SO JUST LET ME BE ..
You can't help me now I done fallen down...
No way to get up....
You all have let my cry's of help fall on your deaf ears....
To little to late for me....
I CARE NO MORE...
Ain't that a shame..
©copyright-2012©-ahsws-B-SAW-company2012©

Broken am I

My heart is broken
Shatter into a million pieces
A hole that once was a heart
Numb is the feeling I am
I am hollow a empty shell of my self
Ripped from my chest now lays stomped at my feet
Humanity has broken me
If it was not for My Children
I would lay in bed to waste way
They say get up get over it
You need to move on
But how when you lost something you love so dearly
That was a part of your everyday life
I have cried till I can not cry no more
I am hollow, a shallow, shadow of who I once was
Humanity, Socialite, Socialist, Mankind
What ever you may call it has let me down
Has beaten me to the ground
Taken my Will
Taken my fight
Taken my Joy
Taken my Love
Taken who I am and twisted me inside out
Inside out Outside in
I am bended, twisted,stripped, ripped, and most importantly jaded  
My heart is broken ripped out of my chest stomped in the ground and hole is now left
This is all you will see ........
I am Broken irrecoverably Broken beyond repair...........

copyright©2012-ahsws-B-SAW-company-©2012

lost of my beloved pet and family member Rocky

I know it been a while and I told you folk why well this weekend has been the worst for me I am living in a nightmare of hellish proportion that I can not seam to get out of and it is killing me. Started on Friday after I got home from paying the bills for the month when I went to get my baby Rocky out of his kennel in my room and give him some dog food I just gave him the last of what I had that morning and I was excited I gotten two 50 pounds of dog food .. When I notice Rocky was not himself at first I chalked it up he was hot maybe and just kept a eye on him  but when he started to throw up, I got concern started to call around to those who knew more about dogs then I did and did what was said to help him (Jello water to help keep him hydrated) thou the night after calling a friend who was like a vet we figure from the way he was acting he was blocked up in the back end part well Friday nit turn in to Saturday morning and he seam to be doing better keeping water down and not throwing up still was not eating but if you spent the night throwing up you would not wanna eat either. So I let him go outside thinking he was safe in my own back yard . Boy was I wrong I was in the house in my room doing a few thing to get ready for my mom to come in town when my other dog Country girl started going crazy barking in the hallway i got up to see what going on i glanced out the window not a guy walking away from what at the time look to be my yard and notice he had a dog with same coloring as Rocky but did not think anything of it but felt I need to check on Rocky went outside and notice Rocky was GONE .. I call to my son to get his shoes on and we both searched the yard under any and everything a dog can get under went thou the house just encase he came inside NOTHING .. I even had my son walk down the street to see if he saw him still NOTHING I got upset called the polices . With in 15 mins from calling them the officer showed up and took my report I made a paper copy of a picture of Rocky.. She gave me a card with my case number on it and told me she would go look down the streets around to see what she could find him . I went in side to lay down and cry I could not believe someone had took my baby of course i put what was going on with it all on face book and when my friend had put on my status that they took my baby Rocky for a bait dog i got up and went to my bathroom to cry while I was in there I heard a sound of a car screeching to a halt the sound of a car door slam and then tire peeling off and my other dog barking like crazy .. I thought great some one ran into my car on the street just what I need it when I open up the door there was Rocky looking like someone had thrown him in the yard I grab him and brought him inside and notice he was worse then he had ever been He was so lethargic and barely moving .. I called the cops left a message that who ever took him brought him back .. I called the a vet from the internet and they all had said that that Rocky might of been poison ..Rocky was gone for over 4 hours no telling what was done to him while he was gone . I spent the day and night of Saturday doing everything I could to make him better talk to vet online and thou the phone when Sunday morning came around truly thought Rocky was doing so much better, He had wagged his tail at me got up on his own was keeping all the water and Jello water down his gums seamed pink and it look as if he was on the road to recovery at least that what the Vets and I thought .. as the day wore on He took a turn for the worse again and stop getting better and thou he was keeping water down he was loosing weight so bad he look really bad the vet said if he was still not better in the morning bring him in so as the night wore on around 10 ish or so I took Rocky outside to try to go potty cause His Pee was a good color still after him having dark red color on Saturday the vets thought that as long as we kept him hydrated he be okay till I got him to them on Monday but when i took him out potty he went to the bathroom and it was blood red and liquid I freaked out cause it smelled so bad called the vet and they didn't seam to worried cause I was giving him Jello water that was red so that what it could of been .. So I spent the rest of the night every 30 minutes making sure Rocky got water to keep him hydrated and getting little sleep . When We all got up on Monday morning called the Vet to let them know we was on our way with Rocky.. Letting them know what was going on Rocky who was so weak that he could barely walk and smelled like death and rotten meat i cried all the way there and right before we got there Rocky died in my arms .. The vets said there was nothing they could do but he was poison no doubt about it but then they wanted like almost a 100 bucks to take him off my hands and I said no I was going to go home with him and buried him to the east so that he would be at peace .. few hours latter the Cops called me and asked how Rocky was doing told them that he had died and They said he was sorry that happen and they wanted to find the person or persons that did this but unless they can find any leads or witness their hands was tied on going any further which broke my heart more .. It feel as if my heart has been  ripped out of my chest and stomped on . There is a hole in my chest and I am not sure it will ever heal and to boot the one person I thought that would be my rock my best friend and also lover of Rotti's .. Would not be there for me He could not deal with the depression and pain right now and that was like a Knife stabbed in already bleeding wound in my chest .. I feel as I am alone more so then ever and Do Not get me wrong I am thankful for all those who was praying and sending well wishes and healing thoughts for Rocky but even as I sit here alone the kids are still asleep surprisingly i am crying and the tear are carving a path down my face in a silent path I am to the point now if I could I just pack up the kids and get the hell out of here .. But at last I can not so I will wait only have 32 more day till my friend come and get me and the kids .. well I guess I better get off here and check on my kids and make sure all is well but I just wanted you to know what going on I have not slept a whole night thou in the past 4 days only had 4 hours sleep so far . I couldnt even sleep last night just lay there and stared at the wall .. I just have one word of advise to you all never leave ur dog outside alone please I DO NOT want anyone to ever feel what I am feeling ... I try to talk to you all later thanks for reading this and if no one does I am to the point I have almost given up on everything but my children I am still here for them and will always be but one thing I know is now I lost y beloved Pet and family member  Rocky and for the most part I have lost all if not most of my trust in society of Mankind ..shaking my head