I am again yes it has been a while i had promise as much as i could i write a little each day in a way i have in the form of notes to teacher and homework with the kids paying bills figuring the budget out and a poem or two on face book but as far as here i failed and for that i am sorry but if you have truly read anything i have written then you know I am s single parent and well let just say there is never a dull moment in my how i have two boys and a girl that not all the kids but they are the one that live with me. My oldest in the house is my 10 yr old he has Glaucoma and it can be a very busy time just this past few months ago we was rushed to KC to have him undergo surgery to help relieve the pressure in his one good eye because his left eye is clinically dead that was a very trying time for us and the twin then I have twins a boy and a girl the girl is the youngest so she think she rules the roost here lol sadly for her she does not as much as she think otherwise then there the oldest twin he and his sister are 8 will be 9 in a little over 2 months and he is a rare form of Autism/Aspherbur syndrome and that in itself can be a handful too especially when he feels as the world or his sibling are being mean to him then to add the cherry on the cake we have my health too which is not the grandest as i like it to be and like all single mother there the family drama that seem to try to follow even when you try to run from it.
But why bore you with all the mundane dribble of the day to day life. But then again I have no clue if you or anyone is reading this but i feel it help me to get out the thing i feel need to be whether it the good or the bad. I really don't worry about capitation or grammar or verbs and junk here i write it as i would be speaking your luck the words are spelled right lol thanks to auto speller.
Well anyways I have to say today has been one of reflection and cleaning lol while the children where at church I clean up and got the laundry finally folded and put away only to realize i still got laundry to wash and put out to dry ugh it never ending cloths lol but what can you do so i went and sat down for the first time in a while and wrote on my book and so far it coming along. and now that the kids are home lunch done feed and they are playing i sit here even as i type thinking how i am going to get more writing done i am already way past the due date for when it should've been done and it hit me why worry it will happen when it happen so i sat back watch the kids for a bit and even now as i am typing this( i'm sitting on my porch outside so i can get fresh air and still see the kids) I began to think about how it seam to be harder year after year being a single mother with special need kids . I worry about how they are going to make it in school with other classmates let alone after school . I know i can not protect them from the world already thought of it but know i can not my 10 yr old going to middle school next school year and it scare the Hell right out of me cause it hasn't been to long since i was in school and the kids then could be cruel but now a day the kids are just plain evil. My son is so excited and want to fit in so bad but at what cost is what i am afraid of will he be willing to do something so stupid it haunts him for the rest of his life or worse hurts him even more than he already is now
and what makes it worse is in the town i live in it small but not too small most of the family grew up or have their kids grow up with each other i on the other hand haven't lived here since i was in 8th grade and i have lived on the East Coast for almost 16 yrs so i felt this would be the best place to come home to and raise my children little did i know i wouldnt fit in here either I am a single mom and to boot i am tattooed and pierced I am stricted on what my children can and can't do in other words i don't let them wander around without adult around i don't let them just take off or stay up as late as they want and i don't let them have certain drinks or junk food ect ect and no i have relaxed on certain thing but in whole i feel that if a child has structure then they are better at being a good kids not always but for the most part. I know i am different and kinda old school when it come to raising the kids but They are happy they have everything they need and a few wants . No they don't have a playstation or a computer of their own or a cell phone cause i feel they are still young enough to use their imagination for as long as they can before they are forced to grow up be a kid as long as they can besides i seen what happen to children who get all they want they become spoiled brats no respect for the parents at all
But this how i feel i try not to ever force it on other as i hope no one force theirs on me . I have had on more than one time people tell me "oh how awful it is for you to be a single parent with children with disability i feel sorry for you" and i look at the and just laugh cause it is i who feel sorry for them my children do not have Disability that stop them from living or being able to do thing they have special needs that make it where we think of other ways to overcome what need to be done hence my 10 yr old he is legally blind his left eye is clinically dead for all purpose it does not work he see nothing out of it and the right eye is bad but he can see shapes and a bit of color (really we are not sure of what all he can and cannot see ) But his Kindergarten teacher wouldn't let that stop her from helping him learn to read and write as far as she was concern it was just a minor bump in the road and by george he can read and write hell he a A's and B's student in school he in a regular class and does the same class/homework as the rest of his classmates . When he was little i was told to put him in a school for the deaf and blind and leave him I look at the casework and told her to leave i would not give up on my son just cause some if not the world did and if you look at him today you almost would not know he was blind he a happy and fairly healthy boy . It goes for all my children even my 8 yr old son i refused to make him feel different than anyone in his own age group and he even in a mainstream class with other students yes he does get a little more help then other classmates but he is a straight A's student and very smart so you see to me it a great blessing and joy to have my children with special needs and even though my baby girl is not special need she feel no different than her brother cause i treat them all the same i love them all equally for who they are and i do not let life or anything get in their way if i can help it . And yes there are time i wish i had a more adult social life i really can't complain cause the time i get to spend with my kids have been one of the best in my life .. To show them thing like a slip and slide for the first time or watch a movie together or even going to the creek and trying to caught crawdads is what make our life up and it a good one so all i can say to a parent or a single parent of a special need child realize they are your blessing they will show u the real thing in life that make it worth it like u guys dancing to a silly song cause there was nothing better to do then just dance or the smile on their face cause the did something they didn't think they could that the best thing in life and it is not a burden ...When you have a child special needs or not they should never have to sacrifice so you can live YOU sacrifice so they can LIVE !!!!
So with that all said i think it time to jump off here and join my children in the game they are playing hope you all have a great Fourth of July and be safe <3
