i have put the two post together for my book "Smile hides the pain"

Smile hides the pain

Angela Summers-Woodle-Sponseller)

Chapter 1-

sitting here tears are washing down my face
with a deep soul wrenching sigh.
I get up and go put my face on.
wipe the trail of tears from my face
with a shake of my head I grab the make up
of lies to place upon on my face.
the thought that this is all a LIE!
shout thou my head .
what else can I do but put it on my face.
I make the eyes bright even thou I know it from crying
but know one else knows.
I make a smile appear big and bright thou it is not what in my heart.
I try a laugh out as I look at the mirror
yup this will do ... " HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA" !
see no one will suspect a thing,
I hide the pain deep in side my heart.
can not let the world see me cry.
I must go on as if nothing wrong!
I look in the mirror and see a face painted with lies.
ram my fist thou the glass.
I can not do this.
IT A LIE!
I shout at the broken webbed mirror.
I can not lie to myself .
I know what i feel and why should i be ashamed of it
but as the blood pools from the cuts that are deep.
I watch the blood .
It dark just like my soul.
It smells sweet that sicking sweet smell of death.
I look up in to the mirror i had just smash.
Blood splatter all over it and i see a shadow in it.
Turn around i see death he has come for me.
Should i be relieved or should i be scared?
I feel like a animal on the verge of running but yet staying to see what will happen.
Death look at me.
His eye are that of a depth i never knew could existed!
I see myself falling.
I hit the ground.
Blood that was left has fallen everywhere.
I see flame come towards me.
Burning me!
My skin is melting !
Pain beyond anything i have ever know !
Lick at my very soul !
I scream !
The flame in gulfs me from the inside out !
I am nothing but ash now !
I am still alive but yet i am not .
I see myself as thou someone else eyes.
And what I see make me sick.
Try to turn away but it as if it has me in a trances.
Death had come to my side.
Reaching thou the depths of the ash that is me
Pulls me out as if i was just covered in soot .
Grab me by my neck bending it back .
With in mere seconds he lips are to my pulsing neck .
And thou it as if i am watching thou another set of eye.
I feel his sweet hot breath on me .
It smelled of hot spice and the thought made me laugh out loud .
I feel the flick of his tongue running along my neck where my heart beats.
In a flash I feel the stabbing pain as my life is drain from me.
As I watch my life flow from me to his lips.
I start to cry begging I don't want to die .
He laugh a evil laugh .
That chilled me to my very soul !
Die is that not what you wanted a few minutes ago?
I utter a soft cry I thought it was !
He laugh once more and
Said with a sneer in his voice.
But child it is to late! I have claim you as my own!
My shoulder drop I cried as I never cried in my whole life.
I beg and I pleaded “let it be not to late?
I just wanna go home this is not my place!”
And the more I pleaded the more he laugh his evil laugh!
SILENCE NOW CHILD!
He scream out at me .
It is Finished u are now MINE!
Now come My Child to me!
I lowered my head .
Struggled to my feet.
I felt the ice run thou my veins.
I was cold but yet I was not .
In a faint whisper I heard my heart die .
The final beat of life had left me .
All around me I heard scream of Anguish and shout of Joy!
Seam my soul was lost and gain at the same time .
As I step close to him .
I saw more then before .
His face was that of an angel.
His lips was red of fresh drawn blood.
His eye they was that of clear ice in the deepest part of Antarctic.
That had a pull to them I never felt before .
His skin was that of freshly brewed coffee with a dash of creamer add to it.
His smell was what got me the most it was intoxicating.
It bewitched my very sexual essence.
As much as I did not want to betray my self.
My body did it for me .
I was drawn to him as a moth to the flame .
It seam I would burn up in flames if I could not get closer to him !
He was my master now !
He control my very soul.
Even as this thought run thou the cloudiness of my mind .
I couldn't help but wonder why this thought came to be it as has if ,
Some primal need was at hand and controlling my body .
I could no more help what I was doing then a baby that cried when he was hungry .
At the thought of hungry hit me I felt the pain of slight in my mouth .
My teeth lengthen to a point.
I started to salivate at the look of blood I saw splatter all around.
Licking my lips at the thought of the warm intoxicating feel of blood running
Down my throat.
I swear I could taste it the spicy taste of blood that reminded me of Cinnamon and Coco all in one.
Startled I look up what I had thought was Death but knew him to me now the master of my soul .
He started to chuckle to himself shaking his head .
“Child you amuse me so!”
“Come child I can feel the Thirst is upon you now we must feed before u become uncontrollable!”
Excitement shone in his eye of ices.
“Who are you?” I asked softly.
He laugh softy to himself and said “Child you can call me many thing
Master,Sir. hell you can even call me your lover or even Death but what I am is what you are now.
A Vampire and I am who have taken you from your miserable so called life and saved you!
What the Human call me a Human name that i have grown very fun of and that is
Ingram!”
“Ingram?” I repeated the name out loud.
For some reason it felt familiar to me as lost thought.
“Yes! you know me ! some part of you remember me! Do not worry Child, my
Akasha you will soon remember it all! Now let go before your thirst over take you !”
As I moved forward I look around at what now was my home .
And left a lost I could not explain but knew I should morn it .
I figured I have time to figure it out but now I was hungry and I knew I must feed.
For the flame of my thirst was licking at my very depths of what use to be my soul.........

Chapter 2-

This Thirst was burning me alive from the inside out.

I felt as I was dieing all over again my Master was looking at me with concern in his eye which really stood out of place in his cold ice of eyes.
"Soon my child, My Akasha, you will feed! I must make sure that the prey we take down will not be missed nor will it be to ruff for your first kill! Ingram said to me.
"Akasha? I question him "Why do you call me that? My name was before this was Bella!
He chuckle softly to him self which sent chills of desire thou out my body.
"Yes I call you Akasha for that is the name you should had from birth for it mean Queen of the Damned and that my child is you.

You are the chosen one of many I could of had but I knew you was the one when you refused to be anything but yourself. You see my child I watch you for a very long time.

I have seen you struggle, your trumpets of successes even thou the lather was few and far between. I have seen every tear you cried.

Ever heartache you have had over stupid mortal humankind.

Even every smile you plastered on that pretty little face of your to hide the pain you held inside.

I watch your heart go from loving and caring to made of Ice just like mine." He stated to me
Baffled even to the point of struggling to come to the grips of the reality of what he said. "You watched me all this time?”

I question him again "But why I am nothing special can you not see ?" I whispered to him.

He laugh harder this time amusement shone bright in his eyes of ice. "My dear Akasha I truly think you are the one to maybe lift the curse that keep us trap from the light of day!" He said to me

"But as far as you not being nothing special you are wrong my dear child You have a gift that is so far beyond any mortal or immortal alike!"He said to me

"How is it I am special there is nothing special about me nor do I have any of this so called gift only gift is that I fine pain thou out my life!" I whispered to him.

Ingram look at me then started to scream "Oh my but all that is Eywa the Goddess! Are you joking Eywa you have to be this cruel to me? Why is it this child know nothing of what was for told? Am I still being punished for my past sin? Have I not Eywa done what you asked of me? Why must you make it so difficult for me to to live in peace!" He scream to the sky above.

I cowered in the corner least his angry came toward me I have seen Ingram tear a man apart to mere bits for crossing him.
"Eywa?' I squeaked out when Ingram seam to have calmed down. He turn his eyes of cold ice on to me and I started to shake in my very spot.

"Oh my dear sweet child please do not be afraid of me. It is not your fault you do not know what is for told of the prophecy of who you are. No one can blame you for you was raised as a human not as a Queen!"

He stated to me in a calming voice that seam to released the tightly wrap coil around my cold heart. "Come my dear child we must go and find another spot to find your prey to feed on. It seam my little outburst might have forewarn any potentially prey here."
I got up from my spot only to be slammed with what seam to be a unquenchable Thirst that knock the very breath out of me.

I looked at Ingram with fear in my eyes.

My very body felt as if it was dieing from the lack of Blood.

I felt was I was burning from the inside out engulfed in a flame the consumed me.

I utter a small weak cry as the tear of blood flowed from my eyes.

At once Ingram was at my side softly as I never knew picking me up and whispering to me " Come my dear sweet child I shall carry you and when we reach our new hunting grounds I will bring you the prey all you have to do is drink to regain your strength. I am so sorry my dear I should have know better and should of not wait so long to let you feed. Please for give me my sweet little Akasha?"

He nearly cried as he carried me from where we had hid from stranger.

I look in to his eyes one that I thought was eyes of pure Ice and realized that I was wrong.

This eyes only held the pain and struggles of a long life without love and in this eyes for the first time I saw what true love was.

I knew we had a long road ahead of us but it was for told we be together.

So with that last thought I whisper to Ingram "I forgive you and shall follow you any where you go. Just never leave me?"

Ingram eyes shone bright with love and concern as I last utter those simple words and he whisper back at me " I never shall leave you! I have wait a many millenniums for you to come in to my life to help me atone from my sins! I shall never leave you, You are my heart my everything!"

I lowered my head as Ingram carried me off to a unknown place so that we may feed and I may gain my strength to help him figure out what we must do next..........